My boyfriend and I have been together for almost 6 years. His parents are the most financially unstable individuals I’ve ever met. They live so out of their means it’s sickening. Last weekend my boyfriend graduated from college. My family traveled 6 hours to be there and I told my boyfriend in advance that his parents should expect to pay for his entire graduation dinner. The topic of “how expensive is dinner” got brought up countless times. My bf felt so bad he ended up picking a wing spot for dinner. His parents STILL asked to split the bill at this dinner. Mind you, my graduation dinner was $500 and my parents would have never made anyone else pay a portion of this. The total amount for my family’s portion of his graduation dinner was $56. I was outraged.
Fast forward today (one week later), and his family is at T-Mobile upgrading to the latest iPhone. The out of pocket cost today is almost $400 and they have no problem adding that to their debt.
This was my final straw. I told my boyfriend I would not be giving his family any Christmas gifts because of this. I don’t think it was fair to ask my family to pay for anything during his graduation celebration, and I consider this extremely rude. Am I in the wrong?
ETA- my bf’s parents INVITED us to the dinner. I did not say they should pay for every meal. I pulled him aside and told him they should \*expect\* to pay for the one meal they invited us all to, since they invited us and we had paid for many other expenses to be there. They paid for the friends he invited to this dinner. They just did not pay for my family.
My family has no problem paying for anything. They love my bf and wanted to support him. They did not expect anyone to pay for anything. I just thought it was rude and disheartening for his family to not plan their spending accordingly.
YTA Why did you tell your boyfriend that his parents should expect to pay? That was not your decision to make. That is really entitled. Was your whole family even invited for the graduation diner?
His family invited my entire family to his graduation 6 hours away. That led to my family paying for gas, hotel rooms, meals that were not his graduation dinner. In my opinion it would be custom to pay for the meal that you invite people to. If I asked people to travel that far for me, 1 dinner would absolutely be on me.
This is really different depending on the family. At my graduation dinner, each family paid for themselves and we did it that way when my oldest graduated even though we invited his extended family to attend. That is not al. In my family. I think you are trying to impose your views on them which isn’t fair.
They paid for their sons friends that were invited. A $54 total for a family is not like it’s a ton of people coming to use them. Ops family paid for them at her graduation, it absolutely should have been reciprocated
NTA. Family invited YOU GUYS to a ceremonial dinner and had to travel?! That’s embarrassing. I would NEVER let my invitees pay. Difference in values or even in culture perhaps, but girl imagine later on …..
YTA
You’re angry because your bf’s parents didn’t pay for *your family’s* dinner?
>I told my boyfriend in advance that his parents should expect to pay for his entire graduation dinner
That’s not your decision to make. Period.
And to decide you’re not getting gifts over this?!?
Look, no one is owed Christmas gifts, but by the same token, if my partner got petty AF because my parents didn’t handle an event in the same fashion his parents did, that would be the end of the relationship.
They should not have invited people to dinner if they were not going to pay.
I don’t know why so many people are saying this. It must only be in certain cultures or specific circles, because that has never been a thing that I’ve experienced.
If someone invites me out, I fully expect to pay. If someone invited a group out to celebrate something, each person is expected to pay for their own food.
I’d hate it if someone’s celebration dinner was limited because *one* person was expected to pay for everyone, so you can only invite who you can afford. If I want to celebrate my husband’s birthday, his friends aren’t allowed to be there just because I can’t afford to pay for them?
Or if I’m invited to someone else’s celebration dinner, I’m going because *I want to be there for that person.* Not because I want or expect a free meal. I’d rather pay my own way.
INFO…Why are YOU dictating who pays for dinner?
I srsly can’t believe ppl are acting like op is in the wrong when these ppl PAID THE ENTIRE BILL EXCEPT FOR HER FAMILY’S PORTION after her family paid for their dinner last time. Y’all are antisocial af
YTA
>and I told my boyfriend in advance that his parents should expect to pay for his entire graduation dinner.
Why? That’s none of your business.
>His parents STILL asked to split the bill at this dinner.
OK. They’re not generous. And/or they’re cheap or broke. Noted.
>I was outraged.
Weird thing to be “outraged” about. Let. It. Go.
>Fast forward today (one week later), and his family is at T-Mobile upgrading to the latest iPhone.
You seem unusually fixated on how your boyfriend’s parents spend money.
>I told my boyfriend I would not be giving his family any Christmas gifts because of this.
OK . . . but . . . why didn’t you just not buy them gifts and not say anything? Why make things difficult by declaring “I’m not buying you a gift because I disapprove of how you spend money”? There’s no reason for that.
I’m not saying YTA for not buying them gifts. If you don’t want to buy them gifts, then don’t. I’m saying YTA for starting so much sh*t about this.
Didn’t you hear? OP is the arbiter of all that is good and bad, AND they want to make sure everyone knows how superior they are for possessing such marvelous knowledge. 🤣
“Mind you, my graduation dinner was $500”
Mind your own fucking self.
YTA. You don’t dictate who spends what, when or where.
How much did you chip in for dinner?