For context, Me (F, 18yo) and my boyfriend (M,19yo) had an accident where you can figure out what happened. About 5weeks later I found out I was pregnant, when I missed my period I got a test it came back positive!
We waited till I was 8 weeks to tell anyone because I have PCOS, and we didn’t want to disappoint anyone in case anything happened. When we told his mom she was over the moon! She was so happy for us especially because she had fertility problems and was only able to convince her one son, she was looking forward to having a grandbaby! Unfortunately 3 weeks after I woke up with unbearable pain, but I wasn’t bleeding. I don’t know why but I kept refusing to go to the hospital, I was scared. That ended up being the worse decision I made because. I took a picture holding it in my hands, and it has made it easier for me to cope.
About a week after I coped and had the courage to tell her, and she told me I was lying. That she didn’t believe me, I tried to explain to her what happened but she won’t believe me.
Now to yesterday, her son (my bf) was asked to move a marble sink top from the top floor of the house to the garage. It was too heavy for me to lift and he couldn’t get it. So he was waiting to see if one of his other friends would come up and help him out. This blew out of proportion when his mom started screaming at him and telling him that we are lazy, and do nothing for the household and she was going to kick us out. I pay rent, I spend my own money to put food in her house and feed the other 7 people living there, I clean and make sure mostly everything that I’m in charge of is done.
So I ask her what her son is calling me and telling me that I’m being thrown out. She started telling me about how her son lied to her about MY rent and told me that we don’t appreciate the house or ever keep it clean or do anything for her. Then accusing me of comparing church to a cult when I’m upset that she makes my bf go to church SPECIFICALLY on the weekend days that we have things planned. After i explained to her that I have never compared it to a cult but have made comments about our plans being postponed she freaked out on me. She called me a liar and told me that she STILL thinks that I lied about my miscarriage. I told her that I had a picture and that I don’t know how else to prove it to her, I asked that if she saw would she believe.
I never once sent the photo to her. She is not threatening to call the police on me for “abuse of a corpse” because my boyfriend and I said out goodbyes and buried it. And threatening to post our texts and send them to my family members because “i offered to show her her dead grandchild” and because “I’m a baby killer” even though I had a miscarriage.
That’s so terribly sad. I’m sorry for your loss.
NTA.
No… Just No. Get out of there.
NTA
But leave…. She is not a safe person. She is not family. She is selfish and cruel.
You don’t deserve this. Nobody does. Leave if you can!!!!! Plz
I’d never want someone to speak to my mom this way. If never want someone to treat my kid this way. This isn’t how you treat other humans.
She has no self control. And again… she is cruel
Leave, and if you ever have a kid, keep her far away.
It’s time to protect yourself. She won’t….. she is cruel and vindictive and unsafe.
NTA but you need get your life sorted and get out of there before you bring a child into that household. That many people living there with someone that sounds like therapy could do her some good with a sprinkling of medication isn’t good for a baby and child. You need a home where you’re not at risk of being thrown out on a whim because of someone who gets angry. Do it for yourself. I don’t want to harp on how you’re to young to have a baby, but you’re young and in a not so great situation. Priorities should be getting your own place first.
NTA.
It’s totally a cult.
That is so very sad. I am sorry you had to go through that. You are NTA at alllll. You had a miscarriage, it is not your fault that your boyfriend’s mom doesn’t believe you. If she is going to have her undies in a bunch over it then that is on her and you don’t have to manage or control her emotions and reactions.
You need to move out and get out of there. Some physical space would be good.
NTA you need to move asap
This is a lot and I’m sorry for your loss. Whatever is going on with his mom is an extremely bad situation for you to stay in. Whether he goes with you or not, you need to move out for your own health and sanity.
Do not argue with her, just quietly get your things in order and find some place else to live. I know it’s easier said than done but it’s absolutely necessary and there’s no winning when you’re staying in her home. She will always be right in her eyes and it doesn’t matter what you say you will be seen as the bad guy.
NTA – No offense, but nothing about this situation seems functional in any capacity. At 18, I want you to know that you don’t have to live like this, and you should think very carefully if this is the group of people you want to be tying yourself to for the rest of your life. I’d urge you to really consider that now because I meet people like you who come to this realization far too late, and then at that point it feels far too difficult to escape because you’re already married into the family with kids and it’s too overwhelming and complicated to separate yourself.
To be honest, I would urge people your age to avoid getting married or having children until you have some semblance of stability or independence on your own first rather than waiting for the first accident to result in a baby. As I mentioned, I meet people like you, but I also meet their children who had to grow up in situations like this and I can tell you that a lot of them want to run just as far away from the parent who brought them into a dysfunctional situation and stayed as they do from the dysfunctional situation itself.
Right now, you have a lot more options to cleanly separate yourself from all of this, but as time goes on and you get more involved in it, you stop becoming “an outside person wrapped up in someone else’s problems” and start becoming one of the active players in the situation. It doesn’t feel like that yet because you’re still young with some semblance of independence, but it’s remarkable how quickly this kind of thing can set in, especially if young marriage and pregnancies are involved.
NTA and I am sorry for your loss.
But you both need to get away from this toxic woman.
NTA but you need to take a look at your life and change it
NTA, and seriously reconsider whether you should continue this relationship. Do you really want any potential children growing up with a grandmother who acts like this?
Girl please leave.. she is an extremely unstable human being.
If he doesn’t defend you, you need to leave. Toxic is an understatement
NTA
girl RUN