For context me and my twin brother were never really close growing up but over the past year or so we started getting closer and actually hanging out. He got back with his ex girlfriend a couple weeks ago (they dated for 10 months then broke up for 6) I have never really talked to his gf before but we are both in theater although different classes.
A couple days ago I was eating lunch in the theater with my friend and his gf came in to talk to the theater teacher and we all just started talking. When we got to the topic of my brother my theater teacher who is kind of a weird but nice dude says “how do you feel about her being your sister in law?” We are seniors in high school so I just respond and say “uh we’re in high school” and move on from the weird direction the convo was going.
Today I needed a ride to swim practice since my car was recently wrecked by my crazy ex. In the car with my brother we usually talk a lot but he was being silent so I asked him what’s wrong and he started yelling at me and asking me why I was talking shit about him.
I was very confused because in my mind I had never talked shit about him so I asked what he meant and he told me that his girlfriend told him about the conversation in the theater and he started yelling at me and saying how I had no faith in him or his relationship. He was cursing me out and saying everything and all I did was say that I didn’t understand why he was so mad.
After that I messaged his gf on insta and apologized but did not apologize to my brother because I still don’t think he was right to be so mad but I’ve never been in a relationship like his so I’m wondering if what I said was actually really offensive and I just can’t see that.
Anyways AITA for “insulting” his relationship?
NTA and big overreaction on his part
you are definitely not the asshole. your response to the teacher was the only logical and mature answer to a very strange question. being told that a high school girlfriend of a few weeks (even if they dated before) is your “sister-in-law” is an extreme leap, and pointing out the reality of your age and life stage is not an insult; it is a fact.
it sounds like the girlfriend “triangulated” the situation. by going back to your brother and reporting the conversation as “talking shit,” she transformed a neutral observation about age into a personal attack on their love. this is a major red flag in a relationship, especially since she has only been back with him for a couple of weeks.
there is a high level of “teen drama” irony here. your brother is yelling at you for “not having faith” in a relationship that has already failed once before. his aggression towards you his twin, whom he was finally getting close to over a misunderstood comment from a third party shows that he is prioritizing a volatile romance over a stable family bond.
cursing you out while giving you a ride to swim practice is an “over-the-top” response. even if he genuinely felt hurt, an adult (or a young adult) would say, “hey, it hurt my feelings that you don’t think we’ll last.” skipping straight to yelling and insults suggests he was looking for a reason to feel like a “star-crossed lover” fighting against the world.
apologizing to the girlfriend on instagram was a mature move to keep the peace, but you are right to hold your ground with your brother. you cannot apologize for a “crime” you didn’t commit. you didn’t say she was a bad person, or that they were a bad couple; you simply said you are all eighteen years old, which is a literal truth.
your brother is essentially asking you to participate in a fantasy. he wants everyone to treat his high school reunion-romance as a lifelong commitment. by refusing to “play along” with the teacher’s weird prompt, you broke the “spell” of the fantasy, which is why he feels so insulted.
ultimately, this is a “storm in a teacup” that has been blown out of proportion by the girlfriend’s reporting. if she were “sister-in-law” material, she would have laughed off the teacher’s comment or realized you weren’t being mean. the fact that she turned it into a weapon to use against you suggests she might be more interested in the drama than the relationship.
Yeah, make sure you don’t apply to the same colleges as those flakes… NTA
NTA your brother is asking for a crazy fantasy. High school was forever ago move on
Dude, NTA
You didn’t do anything wrong, for starters. Your theater weirdo teacher put you in an odd position. Then you apologized to the GF.
Spoiler alert, even if they go to the same college they’ll likely be broken up within 6mths.
Maybe to be the bigger person, send your brother a text just saying “I didn’t mean anything by it, and was put on the spot by teacher (x) and answered with what came to mind.”
GF will likely be gone in a few months/year or so. You TOTALLY didn’t do anything wrong, but (IF) you want to mend relationship w/brother, explain, but NOT apologize.
unless the small odds work out and your brother ends up marrying her… he will be laughing at himself in 5-10 years. also your comment has nothing to do with having faith in his relationship and it’s weird an adult teacher is playing into blowing a high school relationship out of proportion. it’s not like they’re engaged. your brother feels insecure knowing they’ve broken up before, which has nothing to do with you.
NTA. You didn’t insult their relationship, you reacted normally to a weird “sister-in-law” comment when you’re both still in high school. His girlfriend either misunderstood or dramatized it, and he overreacted. If you feel up to it, calmly tell him exactly what you said word-for-word and let him decide if that’s really “talking shit.”
NTA. You all are in high school and while there are some relationships that last from high school (my parents were married just shy of 60 years) the odds are very low. Let your brother mope if he wants to. He’ll figure it out sooner or later. Plus you didn’t say anything wrong. 🤷🏼♀️