Hi, Reddit! I am in a kinda damn if you do, damn if you don’t situation.
I, 26F and my partner 29M have this couple friend, let’s call them B and G. We are friends for years at this point and became quite close with each other. There are constant updates with all the happenings in our lives even though we are not currently connected with work/school like we were before.
In one aspect of our lives (I can’t tell which or I might give too much away), I became first which is why our communications have lessened, in different part of our lives and all that. They have recently purchased a car and I was so happy for them because it was in the works for a few months now.
As it turns out, G was borrowing money from several acquaintances and refusing/delaying from paying it back. I just found out because I am close with two of those people and a third also told me once they found out I knew through other people.
Here’s the dillema: G and B are both prideful people. On one hand, they would possibly be embarrassed if I tell them that I know as they have several times put out subtle brags in front of other people. On the other, the people they lent money from are possibly going to take legal action against them soon which would be detrimental in our common career path. I do get that not my problem, not my circus but I am very good friends with all people involved and have relied on them on my lowest low.
WIBTA?
Personally I would stay completely out of this.
Yes, YWBTA. This isn’t any of your business and it’s something they’re already well aware of so you’d just be starting unnecessary drama
I am sorry, but I would just mind my own business. What goes around comes around and let the universe (not you) decide what’s in store for them
Reverse! Reverse! Don’t do it. You want to be entangled in court cases as a witness do you? Doesn’t matter if you are not involved. Meddle, you become involved and you welcome what comes in return.
There isn’t a good solution here, but I would personally keep it to myself. It’s not your business and really, no good can come of you telling your friends you know they are broke. It will offend them, make them angry, and not help the other people you know from whom they’ve borrowed money.
On the other hand, if you think it somehow \*will\* help the other friends recoup some of their money, then maybe it would be worthwhile to say something?
Either way, you’re NTA.
It has nothing to do with you and bringing it up will cause unnecessary drama. Stay out of it and let them deal with their own problems, unless they come to you for advice then it’s none of your business
It’s hard when you actually come to realize in some aspect, it is your circus and they are your monkeys. I mean this in the way that being very close to these people and now knowing the truth about their financial situation puts you in a very hard position.
However, when it comes to the part of this isn’t your circus means it’s not up to you to blow the lid of the sham of a life they are leading. If it’s affecting you the it’s time to start distancing yourself from them. You can still remain friends with them, but do so in a way that you’re not entangled in their mess.
All you “know” right now is hearsay. Keep it that way and don’t get involved or discuss it further.
“I do get that it’s not my problem, not my circus”… – So you do know the right answer. Mind your business, otherwise… YWBTA.
Keep your mouth shut. If the friends that owe money find out you’ve been talking with the friends owed money about it, an even bigger shit storm will arise.
Stay out of it.
There’s only one reason to tell them that you know, and that’s to warn them that legal issues are coming their way, which then becomes very embarrassing.
It also means that you’re taking the side of the people who did wrong and are not paying back their generous friends instead of the actual victims in this scenario. Do you really want to be on the wrong side of history for that??
If you get involved you’re the AH, and I think you knew that.
Stay out of it. NTA
Yep, YWBTA. You are not damned if you don’t, you’re only damned if you do. Don’t lend your friend money and don’t talk about their business.
I would not put yourself in the middle. It’s not your business even though you are trying to be a good friend. Also, make sure you never let them borrow money from you. I’d possibly consider finding new friends as well. A person who refuses to pay people back is not someone you should be surrounding yourself with, it could bite you in the butt someday. Wish you the best!!
Good grief, OP. Are you looking to tank your relationships with ALL of these people?
Yes, YWBTA. Keep your knowledge to yourself and stay out of it. This kind of situation is what puts the “dump” in “dumpster fire”.