I (22F) have given my bf (22M) money for his starting business. It was first a year ago and then it became an often occurrence because he was struggling with the firm. I was working full time and had no problem with it, he always said that he will give it back when he could and whenever he came up with more money he did return it. At the moment he has to give me back around 2,400€ and I have never given him a hard time, never once mentioned how much or when he can give. Last night he asked me if he has more to give me and how much is it, he then proceeded to convince me how he’s paying for almost everything and he shouldn’t give me back nothing. I brushed it off and later in the night started to calculate how much is left, he saw me calculating and told me to stop because he is getting angry, I asked multiple times why, he didn’t answer. We are living together with his mom, she is the one paying for almost everything. We are barely going out with friends, never to bars or clubs, the only thing he is paying is when we take out food and for gas (for his car), I pay for my car everything. I really don’t understand why it is such a problem, I would understand if he was taking me on vacations or trips, but he doesn’t. Am in the wrong for thinking like that, please give me your opinion
STOP GIVING HIM MONEY! You know he isn’t going to pay it back and unless you have something signed, you can run into issues taking him to court. Find a man, not a boy NTA
NTA – He asked you directly how much he still owes you, and then gets mad when you start to calculate it? That’s crazy. Basically he didn’t want to pay you back. He just wanted you to give him a pass.
NTA
He was the one to bring up how much more he still had to pay/owe you, and made an agreement to do so, when he could.
You also haven’t been hounding him for the money he owes, and it seems like he wants some kind of out on a debt.
He’s honestly quite lucky, because had he taken out a loan from a professional or bank, he’d still be paying off the interest before even getting to the principle amount
Definitely NTA, but I would absolutely have an agreement in writing (signed documents, even notarized, NOT in a text—texts are not always admissible in court) with both of your signatures agreeing upon repayment before giving him any more money in the future. Also, he’s shown you how much he values you. If he’s this against repaying the money you loaned him, and he’s not paying for gifts/trips etc, then I’m sorry to say you just don’t rank that highly with him and you should reevaluate your involvement with this person. My advice is to cut your losses.
ESH. Yeah he should be paying you back, but you should also consider that you’re living with him and his family for free.
NTA
He should pay you back.
You should be more specific on your expectations, though, moving forward. Align on the number and the date when you want it paid back.
NTA when he took the money he agreed to pay it back. You need to start saving your money and have an escape plan ready because the relationship is showing signs of starting to sour.
NTA. Should have stipulated before hand if he wasn’t going to pay it back for whatever reason. Not after the fact.
Get rid he’s a loser.
NTA – get the money and consider if this is truly a good relationship for you!
In his head, the support his mother provides is to his credit. You don’t have rent because his mom is supporting you and that should go towards his debt. It’s not how I see the balancing of the equation, but it’s likely how he sees it.
NTA but good luck, I don’t think you’re going to see any of that money back. Stop giving him money.
If he’s mad and saying he’s paying for everything, call his bluff. Say “OK, let’s sit down and look at the budget, and what we each put in every month.”