My F (48) and husband M (50) have been together for 24 years married for 17 years (4kids). We recently went out with friends of ours, 2 couples we have known for 15 years and one of the ladies sister, all had a great night towards the end of the night we were all taking a few photos. I took 2 selfies of me and the husband of my friend (also a friend). The next day my husband has an issue with this because I didn’t take any of him and he says ‘i‘m the only one who does stuff like that’ A few things like this have happened in the past ( like once I put my head on the shoulder of a male friend when sitting beside him) and i’ve always felt I did nothing wrong, as I do in this situation. My gut feeling is this is not normal to be ridiculed for this but AITA?
Edited: for context. The ‘incident’ of putting my head on a friends shoulder was a group of 5 couples after a night out waiting for a taxi, everyone was there including my friends wife, a few drinks were had and it was late so I tilted my head sideways because I was tired and he happened to be sitting next to me, if one of the women were sitting there i would have done the same thing. There was no ulterior motive or cuddling or anything of the kind, we are all close friends and his wife didn’t have an issue.
He’s not being clear, the issue is you being physical, leaning your head in a male friends shoulder, for a photo.
That’s weird. You’re married.
Explain yourself.
YTA. How do other women feel about you taking pics with their husbands and putting your head on their shoulders? Please tell me you don’t post these pics on social media 😬😬
In addition, how would you feel if other women were snuggling up to your husband, laying their heads on his shoulder, etc.
Boundaries are what preserve a relationship.
YTA
You don’t seem to know what healthy boundaries are when you’re in a relationship
NTA…
Taking selfies with a longtime friend at a group gathering is completely normal behavior. Your husband’s reaction seems disproportionate,,,after 24 years and 15 years of friendship with this couple, casual photos shouldn’t be an issue. His comment about being,
“the only one who does stuff like that”
and bringing up past incidents suggests he may have insecurity or control issues that need addressing through honest conversation.
INFO: was your friend’s husband the same one whose shoulder you leaned on?
It is a little weird that you have photos of everyone except your husband… Why didn’t you take any of him?
Sister, I was with you until the head laying thing. 😭 No, that’s a little weird. You should communicate with him about what feelings he has that are causing him to have his reaction. You’re maybe an asshole depending on how you respond to that conversation.
NTA
It’s ok to have friends of the opposite gender, or even friends who aren’t gendered!
I hug my male friends, I take selfies and I am sure at some point in time I’ve leaned into some and put my head on their shoulder.
If your partner is uncomfortable with you displaying affection with people of the opposite gender, he can express his discomfort and ask for you to be less so, but this guy sounds insecure and a tad controlling.
>It’s ok to have friends of the opposite gender
To you. Not necessarily to your partner.
lol. I would not have a partner who is uncomfortable with it.
YTA. Extremely tone deaf.
If the genders were swapped, this wouldn’t even be a conversation.
Yta. That is very inappropriate.