I was 2 when my grandma got custody of me because my Mom got caught in legal action. Because of this, my uncle was around 10 when I came into his life. We were raised side by side, he’s helped me and teased me just as a brother would. My Mom wasn’t in my life until I was around 10-12, and suddenly, now she’s telling me I’m weird for calling him my brother and my aunt is saying it too, despite it being her fault I was raised with him in the first place (She was at fault for the legal issues) My Grandparents, my brother/uncle, and his wife all see me as the sister, so I don’t know why suddenly my mom and aunt are so offended and weirded out by it when they’re the only ones. The only thing I could see is that maybe they’re upset that I had an average and healthy relationship with him while they didn’t because they were mentally unstable when he was around, so they never got that time with him. I just don’t know and I feel embarrassed, AITA?
Nta. Your mom and aunt see their failings when you say brother
NTA! If he was ok with and so was the rest of your family, then idk what the big deal is. It sounds like your mom is being territorial despite being absent.
NTA. That’s the functional relationship you have with him. They put you in that situation. If he’s cool with it, it’s good.
NTA. You’re mother and aunt are being ridiculous.
NTA. Family isn’t just biology. You and your uncle grew up side by side, were raised together, and formed a sibling relationship. Calling him your brother reflects that, not something inappropriate or “weird.” It sounds like your mom and aunt are reacting to their own stuff, guilt, not anything you did wrong. You don’t need to feel embarrassed. The relationship existed because of circumstances outside your control.
NTA. You wouldn’t think of him as your brother if it wasn’t for your mom and aunts actions. They have no right to dictate how you view your relationships.
You saying “ Brother” may make others question “ Why?” you do so.That would bring up the failings of these two women. Its easier for them to attack you than take responsibility for what they did . Ignore their verbal attacks if you can .If not -look them in the eye and say “ He became my brother when you two failed as mothers “.
NTA. I think it’s awesome that you and your brother have such a great relationship!
My husband has a brother/cousin. They weren’t raised in the same household, but the cousin is included in most of the stuff with his actual brothers. I know when he says something about an activity with his brothers, the cousin is likely also included. Not that strange at all.
NTA.
Your mom and aunt are objecting because they feel guilty and ashamed. You two were raised together, and he’s only 8 years older than you. It’s not at all strange for you to think of him as a brother.
During the depression, my grandmother’s much older sister had to take a job in a different city to help support the extended family. She left her daughter with my great-grandmother. My grandmother and her niece were raised together. They thought of themselves as sisters. My great-aunt never objected to that — it was only natural.
Your mother and aunt need to stop being selfish and get over themselves.
NTA – you were raised in the same household as children – of course you relate as siblings.
NTA. Its your life and if thats how you perceive a person in your life then you can call them that.
NTA. If you two want to call each other siblings because you were raised as such, it hurts no one.
How old are you? Is your mom now your legal guardian or are you an adult?
NTA it’s normal for you to consider your uncle as a brother, given the circumstances. Mom and aunt just don’t like it because it reminds them of their fuck up because that’s the reason you call your uncle brother.
Don’t change a thing, it’s on mom and aunt to get over it.