On Sunday we were meeting at my uncle’s for a kind of pre-christmas meetup because one of my aunts had to leave today. I was with my dad and uncles in the yard. My dad asked my uncle how his plans for getting married were going.
So I should give some context here. My uncles first marriage ended almost two decades ago. I have three cousins from that marriage whom I used to be close to but their mom got custody and we rarely see them. Then around 8 years ago he got married to a woman overseas, brought her here, she already had a guy here, she called the cops on him for some made up thing, and when he came back from a night in jail she’d left. This is what I’ve heard, I was in college and the marriage didn’t even last one term for me to have come back home and met her. It lasted a week I think. Then 3 years ago he got married overseas again and this time her parents changed her mind so they got divorced while there. Naturally I never met her either.
So when my dad said that, I looked at my uncle and asked him if he was really looking to get married again. He said yeah, that he thinks he needs a partner in life. I just without thinking said "fourth times the charm". My uncle didnt take it well while my other uncle found it hilarious. Im pretty sure my dad did too but he was being diplomatic about it.
Today my mom told me that my uncle had told my dad it was really rude and disrespectful of me to say what I said. She said to just apologize to him when we see him on Christmas. I said sure whatever I’ll apologize, this uncle has always been a fun uncle who would hang out with us cousins so I thought he could take a joke but ill apologize sure. But was I TA?
Maybe but damn that’s funny
YTA because it was unnecessary to say. Nonetheless, I laughed out loud. Apologize cause that one hurt. Funny but it hurt someone you love.
I mean he’s obviously insecure about his lousy choices in partners. I don’t think you’re the AH. That’s funny as hell lol. I do think apologizing would be the easiest route though, since he’s going to act like he hasn’t been married three times already lol.
How could you NOT say that? Perfect opening!
YTA.
I mean, I get why you said it, and everyone is thinking it, but it’s still a joke at your uncle’s expense. Apologize when you see him — clearly this is a sensitive subject for him.
Where’s the joke, though? It’s just a judgemental passive aggressive dig.
It’s not over-the-top enough to step into playful roasting, nor does it sound like OP is close enough with this uncle to be able to make jokes like that at his expense anyway.
OP should absolutely apologize. It wasn’t a joke, it was a mean spirited jab.
yta
Joking is fine but you need to know your audience, being divorced 3 times probably isn’t something he’s proud of or really wants to be shit on for.
I mean you YTA but it was funny 😂 but also he did need a bit of a reality check. Just maybe not in that way. He talks about wanting a life partner but he isn’t considering what he wants with that partner and it is obvious considering 3 of his marriages were overseas and started/ended quickly. If he wants a life partner, he needs to do it the correct way. Not just decide to marry overseas again to some random girl he barely knows. At least find a marriage consultant first or download some dating apps. There are companies for arranged marriages that would shuffle through a bunch of paperwork and find someone they believe compatible. He could date and get to know candidates if he is that hell bent on marriage. Just my thoughts.
Comedians are generally assholes, or at least not very nice. Pick what you want.
Hahaha!
My hubby said that to his uncle just before his 4th wedding. At least the Uncle had the sense to look sheepish.
Just before the uncles fifth wedding, I and my MIL told him that if he got divorced from this woman, we were going to keep her and divorce him because we like her a lot. They are still married 10 yrs later.
Have you ever had someone try to tease you about something you were really raw about? If so, you probably didn’t think it was funny. Have you ever been the butt of a joke everyone thought was hilarious except for you, and they all had a great time laughing at you while you stood there? If so, you probably didn’t think it was funny. Also he’s a generation older than you, which I’m sure doesn’t help with all the above. YTA
YTA. It sounds to me like your uncle might be a lonely man and has been struggling to find someone who will genuinely love him. How awful that you are laughing at his expense.
Soft YTA. You didn’t mean it maliciously, but I could see why the uncle felt humiliated in front of the rest of the family. It sounds like he was the cool uncle, so I think some fence mending in the form of a sincere apology is good medicine.
YTA – that’s not a joke. That’s being an asshole about his biggest failures in life. Be better