I will state this is my first campaign I am hosting and the only knowledge I have was from watching others, stories on YT and TikTok. I started the campaign and we haven’t even finished the first chapter of the story but have 3 sessions in and everyone love it. One of the members starting not being able to make it near the third session because of personal reasons. I was concern and worried for them and decided to give them space to deal with their personal things. That is my way of respecting them. I hear from the other players that was cold and cruel of me and the player left because I didn’t show any concern for them. During the holiday I message them but never got a reply.
Before sessions ever began I had 2 people who wanted to join, 1 said no because of work and another was just running late on joining. After new years a member asked me if new people were joining. I explain this as this was pre planned but the one who couldn’t make it could now. That player said I was rude for not asking the other players as I should ask to see if they were comfortable as well. I read and realize they were right and apologize and went to ask the group. But as I did that player said they were leaving and not staying with someone who couldn’t respect their players to even ask and said good luck. I still dm the group if they are ok new players and mentioned the player told me of it and thanked them, even if that player left.
I am now wondering if I am really AITA for not respecting my players? I am willing to fix my mistakes if giving the chance. But I feel that after these 2 players maybe the other players will think the same way and if I should just shut this campaign and start it over with the new members or not…
AITA?
NTA If you’re running the campaign, you’re running the campaign. These players have a lot of opinions on how you should be doing everything for people that aren’t doing all the work. Maybe your communication should have been a little clearer, but they’re making mountains out of molehills and seem like they’re actively seeking out drama.
I’d cut your losses, there are so many people who would love to play in a campaign, but far fewer willing to run one. And remember: it’s a game for you too. You’re supposed to be having fun. If you aren’t, something has gone wrong.
just call it off, and find a better group… i will say when someone is going through something, you ask if they are okay or to reach out of they need anything, you dont just ignore them. you check on them first then give them space, and then a few days or week later you follow up and check up again… and when you do check on them, dont make it about DND, make it about them and showing genuine compassion…
Edit: the person who left first I did check on her verbally and in the group, never once did I ask her about the dnd at the time. After I had to make a break in December for the holidays, I barely message anyone except on the 25th telling player 1 I hope they have a wonderful holiday and love them. I didn’t get a reply with them since.
INFO: why are they calling you cruel about with the player who left? What did you do or not do? And what was the timeline here? How long between that player stepping away and you getting in touch over the holidays? Did you hold session 3 without them or offer to reschedule?
Right now there’s not really enough info to tell if your friends are being honest or overreacting.
Anyway, at the end of the day, this may not be the right group of people for your game. The campaigns you’re watching online presumably feature groups of people who already know they have a good dynamic. It’s much harder to throw a party together in real life.
Edit: The people said Player 1 didn’t like I didn’t care about them. I do, from what I learn in the years of when someone is going through something personal I give space until the message again. I still did check up on only mention. I only held one session without them and that was the 3rd one. After the 3rd sessions I offered we wait until Jan that way they all can relax for the holidays and deal with their personal stuff as well.
As for Player 2, everyone voted to wanting to do session today on the 2nd, except player 2. he never spoke at all until asking today about the other players than leaving without me fixing it.
All right, sounds like better communication from everyone involved would help but I don’t know that there are any assholes involved.
A lot of people do prefer to be given space when dealing with something, but not all. Sounds like player 1 might be the type that needs a little more outreach. In the future, sending a casual message that you’re thinking of them might help.