Last year I went to go eat at my parents’ house after work one day since my mom said she was cooking dinner. I had gotten off of work and made this 15-20ish minute drive to my parents’ house. The instant I pulled up in their driveway I get a phone call from my girlfriend saying her car battery died while she was doing errands. She said she was parked at a gas station that was about 20 minutes from where I was at and asked if I could come right that moment to give her a jump. I said I’d be there.
I was starving and honestly needed some food in me so I went inside, fixed me a plate of food, and scarfed it down. I rushed eating and was at my parents no longer than 10-15 minutes. I then headed my girlfriend’s way, and hit a little traffic on the way, but nothing crazy. It took me 20 ish minutes to get to her once I left my parents. When I got to the gas station I see an older man and his son helping her and they got her car started up pretty much right when I got there. He said to me that I should be a better boyfriend jokingly. My gf was ticked and said I should have gotten there at least half an hour before I did. When she found out I ate first she was very upset and still holds it against me to this day.
Any little argument is overshadowed by “oh you took an hour to even come jump my car, you don’t even care about your own girlfriend.” Something along those lines. In my mind I knew she was at a relatively safe gas station in the area and didn’t have any urgent plans at the time. I would’ve been totally cool with waiting an extra 10 or 15 minutes if the roles were reversed. AITA for this?
TLDR; my (33m) gf’s car died one day when we were away from each other. She asked me to come help right away, but I took an extra 10-15 minutes to eat at my parents house since I was already there and starving. My girlfriend says I am very wrong for doing this. AITA?
Why are we glazing over the fact that she could’ve just asked anyone at the gas station for a boost? I’ve literally been in the same situation and would never have asked him to drive 20 minutes to me when I could handle it myself?
She probably still holds it against you because you have yet to take responsibility for the behavior. YTAH
YTA. Have you heard of snacks? Did you tell her you were going to be delayed?
She couldn’t ask people around her? How she did in the end? I am not in USA but here people are helpful and instead of waiting it’s just easier to ask someone. I can’t call you an AH and think some comments are overreacting as it’s wasn’t that urgent. On the other hand you could have just grabbed a banana and go help instead of eating a full meal first.
Mild YTA, but it’s about the lack of communication rather than anything else. If you’d said on the phone “I just pulled up at my parents’ and I’m starving, mind if I grab a plate and then head over?” You would have got your answer. Either she’d be cool with it, or she’d say she needed you immediately in which case your folks could save you a plate for when you get back.
Wut? Are you seriously wondering if YTA? Yes. Yes, you are. It was an emergency situation and you didn’t give a shit.
YTA for not communicating and breaking your promise.
A lot of people are focusing on entirely the wrong things. It doesn’t matter if she *should* be able to fix her own car. It doesn’t matter how hungry you were or how inconvenient this was for you.
If someone asks if you can come right at that moment and you say yes, you do it.
Can’t come right at that moment? Say so. “I have to grab a bite first but I’ll head out in 15 minutes.” Easy. Then she knows what to expect.
YTA. You weren’t starving.
YTA.
If my wife called me and she was stranded, I would not think of serving myself a plate of food while she was waiting on me for help.
If I was too hungry, I would grab something in one hand and head off. You can munch on something while you are driving. The meal can wait an hour.
I do not understand how some of you have relationships when the prioritization is this whacked.
ESH.
You said you’d be able to help your gf, with leaving out the information that you were stopping to eat before going to help her. Communication, “Hey I’m gonna swing by my parents for some food on the way. Are you cool with waiting a bit longer?”
She sucks because she owns a car. I know we all don’t own the tools to do everything like changing a tire but having antifreeze, a battery/cables, air pump, oil, windshield fluid, I even have a spare pair of old windshield wipers in case.
You own a car, it’s important to be able to do ‘small maintenance’ on your own. This could have been avoided if she just had a battery jumper.
Her holding it against you is stupid petty, and I get you were incredibly hungry but you could have just… Said that??
So you both suck.
YTA. I could see grabbing an apple or two bites of stuffing, but an entire plate, be serious.
YTA – when someone needs help you go right away you jerk. I’d be fuming if my partner left me hanging around at a gas station whilst I awkwardly waited for help. It’s uncomfortable and vulnerable for a woman. Thankfully some nice people helped her whilst you were eating your dinner.
Yta for not going immediately or at least communicating that you weren’t going to be there right away. If you were truly starving, you could have grabbed an apple or something else portable that you can eat on the drive instead sitting down for an entire plate of food.
yta, bro.