My husband and I are expecting a little girl in February. We moved out of state shortly before I became pregnant. It’s a 4 hour plane ride or a multi-day road trip. (21 hours without stopping)
We’ve already done the road trip twice back and forth with both of our pets since we’ve lived there. (Twice in like 6 months) and flew in once.
His cousin is getting married in July back home where we are from. They were really close growing up, but I’ve met this cousin twice in the 4 years we’ve been together. I totally would have been down to go, but now as the due date is getting closer, I’ve really started to think about the logistics of this.
Besides the wedding that weekend, his friends throw a music festival that’s really important to my husband. I’ve gone every year with him, but I’m thinking about how much it’ll also be with a baby. It’s like two hours away from our hometown.
I told my husband to go by himself, but he really wants all of us to go together. We also have a dog and a cat, so we’ll have to spend extra to get a pet sitter or bring them along in the car ride. Flying with a baby that age will give me so much anxiety, especially with the stigma surrounding crying babies and I don’t wanna be “that person”
My husband thinks the road trip will be doable, and he doesn’t mind doing most of the driving and stopping every two hours. He also suggested taking two separate cars so we could each get a break from the crying and taking care of the baby.
He wants his friends and extended family to meet the baby, and I do too. But I feel like it’s asking a lot to expect a baby to travel across the country.
Would I be the asshole for not going?
NTA Babies aren’t supposed to be in car seats for longer than 2 hours for safety, and he is wildly underestimating how much work the baby is going to be.
NAH
It’s hard traveling with a baby. I can understand why would not. Plus you have all the pet sitting to arrange. You are not a TA for not wanting to go. But your husband isn’t a TA for trying to come up with ways to make it work. He seems optimistic and wanting to make sure you and the baby are not left out. If you are comfortable with him going for those few days, then this should be a good alternative.
Do it for your husband. You should get used to being flexible with a baby anyway. Don’t cut yourself off from people.
Nta. I’ve done a 14.5 h roadtrip with my daughter at that age and it’s hard. She’s really good about the car seat, but with needing to take them out of the seat every two hours. That road trip would be at least 3 days long, just one way.
You don’t know what the temperament of your child will be and you also don’t know what pp will look like. I had to travel for families reasons at that point and I wouldn’t do it voluntarily.
At five months old your child cannot have some of the big vaccinations that they get at 6 months and 9 months. The news just reported that there were two exposures of measles at an airport in NJ and Logan in Boston.
He needs to touch grass.
We have done a 12 hour drive (that realistically is 15 hours) to see family with our four year old her entire life and have done it twice now with her and our 6 month old. It’s HARD and our journey is shorter than yours. You’ll have the option of climbing in the backseat with baby (which I did when we only had one, now it’s too tight back there). But the stopping to feed and change diapers and just give her a break from the car seat is going to really extend your tip. At least for us, these aren’t 5 minute bathroom breaks – despite our best efforts sometimes a half hour or more goes by in the blink of an eye when we stop. I’d say you can assume your trip will *easily* become 25 hours, likely more.
It all became easier as the first got older but throwing this baby into the mix has really dragged these trips out again. Just be aware of what you are realistically getting yourself into.