Me and my friend in college decided that we were moving in together but we were looking for 2 other people to move in with us because most apartments around the campus are 4 bedrooms apts.
We found these girls who were also looking for 2 people to room with so we scheduled a hangout. We got along well so we were happy that it worked out for us.
The following week we started looking at apartments together but what these two girls forgot to mention was that they were on a really tight budget and were looking to pay 800 or less for a private bedroom. Which is almost completely impossible to find around the campus but the girls found a place and scheduled a tour for all of us anyways.
The place they found was a really old house, it smelled inside and i hated it the moment that i stepped into the house. Not only that but it was really far away from campus, not close to any bus stops and my school is in a cold state where there’s snow and unbearable cold 80% of the school year so walking was simply not an option. Also the house was not coming with the furniture and one of the rooms were smaller than the other ones and was connected to another bedroom.
The girls told us they could take those 2 rooms that were connected to each other but they wanted to pay less for rent which meant that we had to pay more for our rooms plus the furniture. When i did the math in my head it made more sense to move into a really nice apartment instead of paying for all of these extra expenses.
I asked the girls if they were willing to go look at other apartments but they told me this is the cheapest one they could find so if we didn’t want it they were going to find other people.
After the tour was done i thought my friend would agree with me but she said she also really liked how cheap it was and that she wasn’t going to be home majority of the time. She also told me she really liked the girls.
So while we were discussing this, 2 days later the girls that i got close with recently (my current friend group but i wasn’t friends with them the beginning of the school year which is when they signed their lease) told me that one of the people in the lease was dropping out of school and that i could sublease her room.
Because there was only one more bedroom, I didn’t tell my other friend about it. It was a nice apartment for a good price so i knew somebody was going to take it quickly, i ended up signing the lease. It also helped that instead of living with 2 strangers we found online, I knew and was friends with all of these people.
AITA for leaving my friend and the other girls to sign a lease with my friends when i had a bigger budget than they did and wanted to live somewhere nicer and closer to school?
YTA. Sure you have a bigger budget and prefer to live somewhere closer. You should have relayed that info to your friend before just signing another lease. It’s selfish and shows you have an avoidant communication style which only hurts other people.
NTA. They were already trying to be cheap and change the deal, you’re better off
They didn’t change the deal. OP did.
YTA, based on the way you have told the story. You had committed to be a roommate with your friend, and you ditched her without giving her a heads up. That makes you the A.
Agreeing to a lease is a “two yes” situation, so you didn’t have to commit to the old house. But you should have given your friend advanced warning of the other opportunity that had come your way, and given her the chance to either let you out of your commitment to her, or allow her to agree to find a different lease option with you.
NTA. You asked them to look at a few more places, they declined. You should have told the friend you were close to that you were looking at another place, though……..
NTA Your living conditions are critical. No way were you required to live in a dump to keep a questionable arrangement with people you barely know. That’s expecting too much. Since they are on such a tight budget I predict issues with collecting payment for utilities etc. You dodged a bullet.
You live in situation is directly linked to your mental health. You have to do what works good for you.
NTA.
And you do need to inform your friend (that you were searching for a place to live together with) that you have already found a place for yourself to live, and thus won’t be joining any leases with them.
NTA. You’re friend picked the old house and strangers; you chose wisely. Enjoy your new space.
Soft YTA. Totally get that the place they found isn’t your jam — and it’s fine if you prefer not to live there. I’m picky, too. But part of adulting is communicating, and you could and should have been much more clear and direct with your friend that you were unwilling to live there. This reads like you were trying to hide the new opportunity from your friend and avoided a candid discussion until everything was signed and done. I understand you didn’t want to lose out, but for the sake of your friendship you could have handled this much better. It’s very possible you’ve left her in a lurch now, too, without any heads up.
NAH but i would’ve had a quick convo with her over the phone or text and verify she was staying with them and that you were going to sign with your other friends. Not communicating may bring hard feelings but I still don’t think it makes you an AH
YTA big time!!
You and your friend wanted to find housing together and then you went and got an apartment with a bunch of other people and didn’t tell her. If I was her I would no longer be friends with you. It isn’t just that that group now has to find a 4th. It is the point that the two of you had a semblance of a plan to live together and you completely shafted her. The other girls don’t have skin in that friendship game and were just looking for somewhere cheap, but you initially planned this with your friend and now she is left without you.
That would really hurt, if it was me.
Yes but before i signed the lease i presented other solutions to her. I told her i would be down to find 2 other people or trying to convince them to look at other places. I do not want to live somewhere that does not feel clean and safe to me especially because i spend majority of my time at home. My friendships are important to me but if someone is choosing to not be friends with me (we are still friends) because i wanted to feel safe in my living space then i don’t think we should be friends in the first place.