So my cousin lives in Missouri, I live in Maine but I had my wedding in NY since that is where all of my family lives. My cousin came to my wedding, got herself annihilated, and got into a physical altercation with her mother. She then showed me that she had gotten me a card – I told her to put it in the card basket – she never did. She then told my mom that she had forgotten to give it to me, so my mom told her to leave it with her. She said “I’ll just give it to her at my wedding.”
This completely rubbed me the wrong way, it felt like she was holding my wedding gift hostage, but it was whatever. She got married the same year as me in Missouri, but I did not have much PTO left as I got married, and went on my honeymoon that same year – but I also had a feeling she would get drunk and make things uncomfortable again (I get it, her day. Not mine – but I prefer to avoid conflict.) I politely declined. She then sent me a message a month after her wedding angrily asking me why I didn’t go to hers when she went to mine, she then threw it in my face that she paid for her mother and her wife to be there as well. I just never answered her. AITA? She took the time out to travel to my wedding, but I decided not to go to hers /:
It seems like you don’t really like each other. NTA, it’s an invite, not a summons. You’re not obligated to go to someone’s wedding.
In invitation is just that, an invitation, it’s not a summons. Based on the history, I don’t blame for missing the train wreck. NTA
I agree just because she went to your wedding and by the sounds of it didn’t really make you feel good on your wedding day due to her behaviour so I would say you are valid I’m not attending her wedding .
I would also like to add even if you liked her and got on and she came to your wedding. It doesn’t mean you have to attend hers as others have said it’s an invitation not an obligation, but since you said you rather like to avoid conflict, I would say you made the right call and your definitely not the asshole . So yeah your NTA.
Are you guys close? If so, then yeah you’re the asshole. But if not, oh well.
Did she ever apologize for making a scene at your wedding?? If not, I would let her know that you don’t owe her a thing but she certainly owes you an apology