I (34F) love my sister (37F) and I don’t hate her kids (8M and 6F), but this situation has honestly pushed me to my limit.
Her kids are loud, and have no sense of boundaries. Every time they come over, they are always screaming, and breaking things. My sister just laughs it off and says they’re “just being kids.”
I know kids do that but it has started feeling like they think of my house like a playground. I work hard for what I have, and I hate having I feel like I have to guard my house the entire time.
After they leave, I have to clean everything and deal with the damage. My sister never offers to pay for anything or even apologize. I finally told her that until her kids can behave they can’t come over anymore.
She completely lost it. Accused me of hating children and said I’m punishing her just for being a mom. She told me I don’t understand how hard parenting is and now my parents are involved and telling me I should just childproof my house and accept that “kids will be kids”
I’m being treated like the bad person for setting a boundary. I don’t feel like I’m asking for anything extreme. I just don’t want my house trashed every time they visit.
AITA?
NTA
We visit my inlaws every week. My kids are the same ages as your sister’s kids, and both have ADHD. They clean up after themselves, are polite, know to be quieter than at home because the neighbors aren’t used to their noise (apartment life). It’s taken effort on my part (and my husband’s) to set expectations and boundaries. But it’s worth it to be able to bring my kids places without having to be on guard all the time.
NTA. If she was a mom, she would be parenting those kids. Doesn’t seem like she’s doing that.
Info
What kinds of things are be broken / damaged?
Kids being kids does not involve trashing a house and breaking things. Kids who exhibit that kind of behavior do so because a lack of boundaries that their parents have failed to instill in them. When I was a child, I never ran around screaming like a maniac and breaking things in other people’s houses because I was taught manners and boundaries. Shoot, I’d even go knock on my neighbor’s door if my football landed on their yard.
NTA.. nobody likes misbahaving kids and yanker parents.
NTA, yes kids are loud and can get crazy but it is the parents job to teach them how to respect others property and space, accidents happen sometimes sure, but at the very least the parent should apologize, offer to cover damages and ensure the child knows what went wrong and how to prevent it in the future (in an age appropriate way of course, teach a 2 year old is alot different then teaching an 8 year old).
NTA. Just because she wants to be a shitty parent doesn’t mean you should have to deal with their behavior in your own house. If your parents have a problem with it, they can have them destroy their house 😆.
Instead of posting this, just show her the 1000+ other posts exactly like this. The all say the parent needs to discipline their kids and be more respectful of their surroundings.