So i (29M) planned and paid a deposit for a weekend cabin trip for my friend lukes(30M) birthday.days before the trip,he invited over his girlfriend(27F) with whom i had problems with in the previous month. And he knows all the stuff about it.
I said that i wouldn’t go if she came with and he told me to deal with it cince it was his birthday. I couldn’t put up with her and because of that i canceled the booking and lost the deposit.now other friends are taking his side and are saying that i ruined his birthday.
So am i the asshole?
YTbigA. It’s his birthday, not yours.
It’s his GF of course he isn’t leave her. You needed to deal with it, which you did in a way. So I would say ESH.
No way you’re almost 30 not realising that most people want to spend their bdays with their partners lol. YTA either way, but I feel like we need info on why yall don’t like each other
INFO: You say you paid the deposit. Who was paying for the rest?
Big ol’ YTA. Don’t pretend to do something for other people if you don’t follow through. You planned this trip for yourself, not your friend, and then got pissy you didn’t get your way.
It would be one thing if you got the deposit back, but to lose the deposit entirely while also cancelling the trip makes you a huge asshole.
You should have just not gone and given your homie the bday trip anyway. You acted like a 13 year old child and you’re 30. YTA.
YTA. Are you in love with your friend? What beef could you possibly have with the girlfriend that you can’t share it for context?
If we’re only getting your side of the story and everyone here thinks you’re the asshole, then you’re probably the asshole
YTA. If you didn’t want to go, you should have just transferred the booking to them and asked them to pay you back your deposit. But now you ruined it for everyone.
INFO: what is the conflict you have with his GF? This would determine my judgement here.
You’re shocked that your friend invited his girlfriend to his birthday trip? A trip that you said in your own comment wasn’t just “a guys trip” but a trip for friends to also come on.
You said you and his girlfriend had a fight, what was this fight about? Unless it’s something massive I can’t see a reason as to why you wouldn’t be the asshole in this situation.
YTA for real
Grow up
YTA
YTA. I’m guessing you’re the one causing the issues, but even if the gf is insufferable it’s ridiculous to think he’d make her stay home during his birthday trip.
You seem like the type of friend who is only generous to gain control.
Need more information, like how terrible is the girlfriend? I want to take your side.