Hey, so I figured I’m not but for some stupid reason my brain keeps saying I’m over reacting. Sorry for the junky typing it’s late and I suck at it.
So I am a teenage girl and the friend in question is one too. We have been friends for seven years, and at some point even tried dating each other! But this whole thing started when we decided to go to a party together, and I went to get ready at her place for said party.
When I got there I was met with her family. Her parents are divorced so I was technically only met with her mom. Just as we were finishing getting ready her dad came over to pick up her sister and take her out or something, and I decided to go meet him. Week shook hands. End of story, right?
Apparently not. This man got so threatened that I had a firm handshake that he told his daughter that the next time I did that he would make me understand why that’s a no no. Now how you may ask do I find out about this? She tells me the next time we see each other. This was in a public area. I got heated, and I told her that her dad was like 2x my size and a single swing from him could probably hurt me… badly. She storms off with some weird excuse that her father has had people try him before. We don’t talk the rest of the day.
When I get home I tell my parents- who are obviously mad. They don’t want me going back there ever and I was inclined to agree. I know her parents are divorced but that doesn’t change that he could go there anytime to get his kids. So I go to bed and figure that I’m needing to have a serious conversation with her.
Then the next day she has the bright idea to pretend she didn’t say that to me- like please be for real???? I try to be serious and tell her that I’m not going to her house again because honestly, I was scared. I’m not one for holding up gender norms but he sure seems the type- and the fact that he’s 6’ something and I’m 5’3 plays a massive part too. And he’s filled out. He works out, I’m not a thin girl but a strike from him and I’m out faster than a light.
Back to the actual reason I’m righting this.
She goes quiet and sits down after a few half attempts to defend her father again. It was the same defense as earlier with other people having tried him before -which would make sense if I was but I was just giving a firm shake and a smile. So as she’s quiet she scrolls through reals for a half hour before heading out.
20 minutes later and I get a notification from insta. Guess who it was. She messaged me and said we weren’t friends anymore because I didn’t want to go to her house anymore for a ‘stupid’ reason…
So now Reddit I ask you AITA For telling my friend that I’m never going back to her place?
Nta. Kinda wild that he threatened a teenage girl like that. Wild that she’s so defensive. You can get new friends. I certainly would. I’m 34. You’ll be fine making new friends, though it might seem hard at first… good luck. 🙂
Thank you! There were many friends around the day she told my what he said who also got mad, it’s just my brain overthinking
At your age is normal to over think this things. When you grow older you realize you dont have to take any of this shit. Your instincts are correct and your parents are taking care of you so trust your gut and protect yourself… your safety always comes first over any friendship or any little’s man ego.
Her dad made a creepy, threatening comment, you have every right to protect yourself. If she can’t see that, she’s not a safe friend to be around either.
I figured that, there is a lot I didn’t mention about my past with her but I stuck it out because we’ve know each other so long
Teenage girl hurt ego of grown ass old man with firm handshake. Wtf
NTA
That’s exactly what I said that made her storm off in the first place!
NTA. The biggest red flag isn’t even the dad, it’s your friend minimizing it, defending him, then gaslighting you by pretending it never happened. That’s not a safe friend
Well she clearly grew up on a violent environment, the biggest red flag is still the grown up abusive man who threatens a teenage girl through his own daughter no less.
Hour old account, scarcely believable story and weird language/grammar.
In other words the zillionth AITA bot post.
NTA. You were absolutely right to stand your ground. Her dad’s reaction was completely out of line, and it’s understandable that you would feel unsafe. The fact that he threatened you over something as simple as a handshake is disturbing, and it’s alarming that she tried to downplay it. Your safety should always come first, and if that means not going back to her house, then that’s what you need to do. The way she handled it, pretending nothing happened and then ending the friendship over it shows where her priorities lie. True friends would respect your boundaries, especially when it comes to something as serious as feeling threatened. Don’t let her guilt-trip you into thinking you’re overreacting. You made the right choice.
NTA
I would alao be petty enough to reply to her passive aggression with a blunt post about friends who try to gaslight you over the fact their parent threatened you with assault – because she sounds like an ass