AITA me 25M have a 29F GF we have known each other for 6months and are planning a trip away but I think she expecting me to pay for everything which I always do and I am happy doing for her as I have a really successful business and it is our first trip together and she wants to bring her kid (6 year) for a week and I don’t think I wanna go nor do I want to fund the whole trip it just doesn’t seem fair to me but she doesn’t really have much income to be able to pay for some parts of it and I don’t know what to do I don’t really want to do it am I wrong for feeling like this?
Dude she is a package deal – YTA.
I get that but we are in a new relationship and it’s our first trip together
yup package includes baby daddy too
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YTA. It’s understandable that you don’t want to pay for everything, but since she’s bringing her kid, it’s a big step in the relationship. You should have an open conversation about sharing costs instead of just assuming it’ll fall on you. Relationships require compromise, and it’s not fair to expect her to do all the planning and pay for everything, especially when she has limited income.
I’d say YTA.
You seem totally fine with how it is paying for her until she invited her kid. What did you think would happen being with a single mum? That you’d always only go on adult only breaks etc?
She’s maybe slight AH because she’s going ahead and choosing the place that’s kid friendly when she’s not paying for it… when you go away together who picks where you stay?
You also had a chance to shoot it down when she asked but you said yes
So let me get this straight. You are dating a woman who has a child and you make a lot more money than her. So you treat her to a bunch of stuff, but you draw the line at her child. It’s your right to not want to pay for a child, but it’s not a good look to treat her child, an actual human who she loves way more than she will ever love any man, like unwanted baggage. She wouldn’t be taking this trip if you weren’t paying for it, would she? Because from your telling, it sounds like she couldn’t afford to. Do you want to be with someone who would just ditch their kid for a trip with some dude? Do you not get that she wants you to be a part of her kid’s life, and that’s why she is bringing the kid along? Do you not know that kids 100% know when they are not liked by their parent’s friends? You are incompatible. Let her know you have no interest in providing anything for her child, and you generally want nothing to do with the kid. That’s the truth, right? You are N T A for not wanting to play daddy, you’re welcome to find a child-free woman. But if you are deciding to date *this* woman who is in no way child free nor wealthy like you, and you’re treating her child like funky smelling trash, YTA. Also, if you are just *assuming* her part in this without actually talking to her, that’s just no way to be in a relationship.
YTA for not using one single, solitary punctuation mark in this entire stream of consciousness eruption.
YTA for establishing a pattern of you paying for your partner for everything you do together, but acting shocked when she expects you to also pay for her child on a trip that includes the child.
YTA for dating a mother of a young child and then acting shocked that the mother wants to bring the child on a week-long trip.
Yes, all this!
Agree! I think you already have resentment towards her child. You should end things with her if you are not ready to be in a relationship with someone who has a child. They are a package deal. I met my 61F husband 63M, 39 years ago when my son was 18 months old.
I could not find a babysitter for our first date and wanted to reschedule. He said it was okay to bring him along and we went to the beach, then had tacos. We have been together ever since, and happily married for 36 years. Looking back I would advise people to wait a bit longer to introduce a child to the relationship, but six months seems reasonable to me. My son has been lucky to have a good relationship with my husband and a fairly good one with his dad.
Don’t waste her time. If you aren’t ready to be a stepdad, step off. And communicate with her.
Is this for real? If so, she might be wanting a transactional relationship. If you’re a kidless successful businessman I would save your money and energy for a woman on the same wavelength, unless you want to end up impregnating her and being the bank of dad for the rest of your life. If you think you love her after 6 months then that’s just weird IMHO. ESH as she shouldn’t be going away with someone she’s only known for 6 months and bringing a kid with her
Did you know she had a child?? Because it sounds to me that you were willing to pay for everything until the child came into the picture.
YTA, you only changed your mind when the kid tag along.
You are learning your own limitations OP. Maybe you would be more comfortable not footing every bill so you don’t end up feeling used by women you are dating. That would be perfectly reasonable. Also maybe at your young age you would rather not date a woman who has a child, also perfectly reasonable. Allow this experience to teach you some things about yourself then the experience isn’t wasted.