Hey everyone, 45 year old dad here. Happily married to my 43 year old wife. We have 3 children, but this situation is about our 17 year old son.
Unfortunately things haven’t been very positive in our house lately contrary to how typically mellow and argument-free my wife and I’s marriage is.
My son has been asking to get his tongue pierced for a few months now. Right from the get go his mother has been against this. My son already had his ears pierced, and my wife didn’t want him to get that done either for the same reasons.
My wife believes that boys shouldn’t have piercings. She thinks that they’re something only gay men get, and is convinced him having piercings will make him gay. My son is admittedly already kind of “girly” and generally odd. Not sure why considering he wasn’t raised like that, but I don’t think the piercing is the issue. She’s also expressed concern that he’ll be bullied over them. Eventually she gave in on the ear piercings last year after my son begged us for multiple years. On top of those things she didn’t want the tongue done because it was too “extreme”.
Well, two days ago I took my son to get his tongue pierced. He’d been asking for a while and clearly really wanted it, he’s a good kid, and I figured it would make a nice late birthday gift. He was extremely appreciative and happy.
As I expected my wife found out and was furious. She’s now claiming that I went behind her back to “support and help in” unsafe and weird decisions made by my son. She demanded he take the jewelry out. I told him he doesn’t have to. Did I go behind her back? Yes, and I know I’m a wrong man for that. But do I really think a piercing is that big of a deal? Listen, I’m not big into the whole extreme piercings and tattoos or boys being feminine thing either. But at the end of the day it’s a piece of metal and it made him happy. I really don’t think it’s that big of a deal that I took him to get it done.
It’s been two days and she now refuses to speak to me even regarding the piercing situation. She keeps demanding my son takes it out, is constantly degrading him over it with things like “what will your friends think”, and is telling all our family members I took him behind her back to get a “dangerous and permanent medical procedure”
AITA?