My (23f) ex-boyfriend (24f) broke up with me yesterday, it was difficult emotionally but the conversation went well and things ended amicably. A week ago I gave him a hand knit scarf as a holiday gift. I knit the scarf to be extra long and extra wide with a pattern so it took me a good deal of time to knit (about 3-4 weeks). I put a lot of work into the scarf even knitting it on the treadmill and staying up late to finish it on time. I also specially bought 3 skeins of 100% wool yarn for the project so it wasn’t cheap. When I gifted it to him he seemed to really like it and wore it around. He even trimmed out the “To”/“From” sticker I had put on the gift wrapping to save for sentimental value I assume.
The problem is I am now facing the dilemma of whether I ask for this scarf back or not. On one hand, I did make it specifically for him and would feel badly taking back a somewhat sentimental gift that seemed to be enjoyed. On the other hand, I poured a lot of work and love into that scarf and it almost feels too sentimental for me to let him keep after breaking things off so soon after I gifted it. WIBTA if I asked for it back??
YWBTA to ask for it back. It sucks but you gave it as a gift
YWBTA
Let him keep,it. YWBTA
YWBTA
It was a gift. You don’t ask for gifts back.
YWBTA. It’s a scarf not an engagement ring.
YWBTA. you gave a gift. You’re hurt, but you can’t ask for it back.
I don’t necessarily think you’d be the AH, I can see other people’s reasonings and also agree once a gift is given that’s sorta it (minus maybe an engagement ring?) but most importantly, just let it go and let him go. Just close that chapter and don’t look back. Out of sight out of mind ya know?
Why do you want it back? Are you going to wear it yourself? Give it to someone else? Or you just don’t want him to have it anymore?
Basically you can ask, he can answer however he wants, and it makes you look insecure and emotional either way.
Gifts once given should never be asked back unless it’s an engagement ring, broke up, and the wedding is off indefinitely. Do you plan on returning every physical item he’s gifted you in the past in order to get the scarf back?
NAH, But what would you do with it? Keeping it will only remind you of him, you won’t be able to gift it to someone close to you because of the same reason, and thrifting or donating it after all that work seems like a waste.
Just let him have it so he thinks of you every winter and every time someone compliments the scarf, and don’t let this experience prevent you from making special gifts for people you care about.
You’d be the asshole. It was a gift. Though have you not heard of the sweater curse? lol never make a big item for your SO until you’re confidently on super solid ground!
Never heard of the sweater curse… I fear I may have cursed myself
It wouldn’t make you an asshole, but it also wouldn’t be a good look. Let it go, diva.