As the title suggests my girlfriend texted me "I want a break for a few days or weeks idk"
This text confused me as she was really happy the day before that. I asked her if we could talk before she took this decision all by herself. Or if there was something that she didn’t feel was right in the relationship. She just said that she doesn’t wanna explain right now and left.
Her mom called me after a few hours saying that she’s sorry for her daughters behaviour, that she can’t judge between good and bad people. She also told me that something happened in her daughter’s life that she’s very disappointed about and that her daughter will call me by herself once she’s calm emotionally.
For context, my girlfriend is very avoidant by nature. She has a habit of running away from conflicts. Whenever she’s emotional she doesn’t really talk to me and give extremely dry replies even on call.
She also has an ex that keeps texting her every 15-20 days or so, usually that is when she gets really emotional.
I’m not sure what to do in this situation. I’ve made several attempts to talk it out with her, but she ignored all my calls and texts.
This also makes me worried for the future because we were planning on living together and this makes me a little skeptical.
She doesn’t sound like she’s mentally ready to be in a relationship. She needs therapy.
And she needs to block her ex.
Agree.
She did block her ex. He keeps texting from different accounts and phone numbers.
Did she cheat on you?? Her mom apologizing for her daughter is crazy lol. Like crazy in a way of whatever she did must be badddd because parents do not usually apologize to their child’s partner for them, especially their adult children. That combined w the ex… I’m suspicious for sure.
I don’t think you can do anything else with her or for her. I think your action from here on out should actually be for yourself. How do you feel about her text and how not-explanatory it is? Is that okay with you? Would you tolerate that from a friend? What scenarios is this behavior justified (or more justifiable)? Do you feel she is willing to work on her avoidance in the future if you tell her this is hurtful? Is it possible for this to occur again? You should explore your own boundaries and desires in a relationship and see what aligns with your current situation.
yeah man I’m so confused right now. This is more sad because the last time I was in a relationship I realised my mistake (I was not able to give that much time cuz of work) but this time I fixed that, made sure that even tho I was busy I found time for once a week dates, daily calls (even if for an hour).
I knew lack of communication fucks up relationships so I made sure to always tell her that if she ever feels like something is up lets talk and sort it out.
But you’re right about boundaries, because even if I stay now, it just showed me that I can’t trust her. I run a business and fortunately everything is going well right now, I’m at a solid point financially but what if that goes down and in that moment she leaves me again because she’s feeling discomfort.
This is why I don’t like relationship breaks because that’s like stepping away from commitment during discomfort. The whole point of a relationship is that its a commitment.
And even if she do wanna go back to her ex just make it clear to me lol and I’d know. Whats the point of avoiding,
Break means break up. Get rid. Her mummy calling you is just gross.
Yeah I don’t believe in the concept of relationship breaks because whats the point of a commitment if one person can back down from it whenever they want. That would just lead to no trust.
Just chill man, give her a chance to call you. The mom calling was unusual but so what? Lots of successful relationships take unusual paths. You can always dump her later, for now just focus on yourself and put your ego to the side.
I would treat this as a break up and move on with your life. Don’t wait around for her and don’t give her access to you when she decides she wants you back. You are not a toy to be shelved until she is ready to play again. She is not ready for a relationship.
She have someone else, or is into someone else and wana try with him, but if it dont work she run back to you, and yes im talking first hand experience, my ex said she need peace and break, and i asked if she want someine else, she said noooo, she just need peace and break, and that is normal to have breaks.( They generaly dont tell truth why they need break)