I (17 F) have a friend (Vivian who is also 17 F). We weren’t really that close until January of 2025. I was recently diagnosed with crohns. Before this I had a number of problems including constipation and excess gas. Due to this i had very bad and embarrassing accidents especially in class. Honestly it ruined my life cause I was so afraid of hanging out with people and would just keep to myself. I went to multiple doctors and counsellors but didn’t get an answer until now.
During this period she constantly made fun of me together with some other classmates in my presence . At first I didn’t blame her since my problem also made me uncomfortable. But one day as I was getting to class I heard her talking about me (loudly) making fun of me. She made comments such as "I don’t know how to tell her" asking people to help her. I was upset because she could’ve just talked with me but she decided to tell half the class. What pissed me off more was the fact that she ALWAYS ALWAYS claimed to be "real and genuine " and swore that she always talked yo people directly if she had a problem. I always told her if I had a problem with her so this just felt like a huge betrayal.
What hurt me the most is that during this time she would always say how she misses me and loves me so much and that I’m the best friend she’s ever had bla bla bla …😒
One day I just broke down crying and told her everything (including my condition)how I felt and she sat with me and tried to comfort me but she denied everything and started telling me how she would never leave me (I told her that I felt like no one really wanted to be my friend)
After this I thought she would stop but she didn’t. She even made it an inside joke with some other friends. (they informed me about this). This is where I might be the problem. I started to blatantly ignore her ,I would just leave if she started talking. I refused to work with her during pair or group projects and at one point i told her she had a small mindset (during a group project where we weren’t picking members on our own)
She finally confronts me and I tell her that I don’t trust her and I don’t think she is as genuine as she claims to be. She tells me she is hurt and we decide to give each other some space. So we go home for the holidays and this girl is sending me best friend reels and tiktoks like NOTHING HAPPENED!!!! Things like "I don’t know what I would do without you etc. and these are the only videos she’s sending me like 30 reels and tiktoks saying the same exact ducking thing. So I skip all the videos and don’t even acknowledge them. She tells me that she is hurt that I don’t reply to all of her 30+ ducking reels saying the SAME EXACT THING . I ignore her and just ignore all of her messages. Now I’m starting to feel bad cause I know I could’ve handled things better. AITA?
NTA. She needs to change her behaviour before she can be your friend again, and you’re well within your right to ignore someone who makes fun of you. You’d be well within your right to never forgive her, as long as you don’t say anything untrue to others about her.
Its tough to stay civil with someone this pushy, but if you’re in the same groups and classes you might be better off being polite but not friendly rather than ignoring her. If you ask your friends to stop inviting her around life gets a little easier regardless.
Best of luck!
NTA but you can still try to handle things better. Have you texted and said “I still need time” or “I miss you but X,y and z are my expectations moving forward?”
The reels are to get your attention.
NTA. Stop interacting with her. Tell her you no longer want to be friends because of how she treats you, and move on. She’s not treating you like a friend. Pretty soon you’ll graduate high school and never have to worry about her or those bullies ever again.