I’m (24F) living with my roommate “Jake” (27M) in a small apartment. We’ve been roommates for about a year, and overall we’re cool, we split bills fair, no big fights. But Jake has this habit of “grazing” on my stuff from the fridge/pantry without asking. Like, I’ll buy a bag of my favorite chips or a pint of expensive ice cream, and half of it will mysteriously disappear. When I confront him, he always laughs it off like “ sharing is caring!” or “I only had a little.” I’ve asked him multiple times to stop or at least replace it, but he just says I’m being too uptight about food.
Last week, Jake ordered this fancy artisanal pizza delivery truffle oil, prosciutto, the works. It cost like $40, and he was hyping it up all day. He ate half, put the box in the fridge.
That night, I was hungry after a long shift, saw the pizza, and… ate the last two slices. (There were four left originally, but yeah, I went for it.) They were delicious, by the way.
The next morning, Jake flips out. He’s yelling about how disrespectful it is, how that was his special treat, and now I owe him $40 plus a new pizza. He called me a hypocrite because I get mad when he eats my stuff, but apparently his is “off-limits.” He’s been giving me the silent treatment for days and told our mutual friends I’m a food thief.
I pointed out his double standard he does this to me all the time with cheap stuff like cereal or yogurt, but freaks when it’s his fancy order.
AITA for finally giving him a taste of his own medicine? Or should I just apologize and buy him a new one to keep the peace?
I would have clarified: “I thought sharing was caring?! DO YOU NOT CARE ABOUT ME?”
I was confused because you’ve said “sharing is caring” when it comes to my food. I assumed the same rule applied here, clearly it doesn’t.
NTA…but apologize anyway. Say “I’m sorry I ate your pizza. I thought you were okay with sharing food based on how we share my breakfast and snack foods. I will make sure I don’t do that again. I will use this shelf/drawer/cabinet for my food and you can put yours here so neither of us makes that mistake again.”
You’re nicer than I am!
He’s being hypocritical and you know that. You’re not an AH. I wouldn’t pay him nor provide another pizza for him. If he can eat your food, you can eat his.
I agree he’s being hypocritical, and that’s really the issue for me. I don’t think retaliation was the best move, but it did highlight the double standard. I’m more focused on setting clear boundaries going forward than paying for a whole new pizza.
NTA
I bet you can remember most of the stuff he has eaten half of. Write out an itemized list of all he owes you for the food he has taken of yours, then give him the bill with 20 dollars taken off for the pizza. If he doesn’t pay you what he owes you for his share, then you have your answer of what kind of person he really is. And hopefully he will see how stupid he is being…
NTA
You made a statement. It is a little much maybe, and you know what you did, but this is a confrontation that you needed to go into.
Ask him whether he understands that it sucks when you look forward to eating s th and someone just took it. If he is understanding of that, you might want to give him 10$ as a sign of good faith and call things even (if that pizza even was that expensive, depending on how much stuff he took from you). But if he does not get it? Fuck it, tell him you will respect his boundaries when he starts respecting yours.
His demand to get a new pizza AND 40$ is completely ridicoulus and shows he acts in bad faith. You should definitely not apologize for anything unless he does.
NTA, I would say oh I assumed we were sharing and I will continue to do so until you respect that my cereal and snacks are not yours to consume either. If you can be a food thief, so can I.
You could maybe do like a joke dye in something of yours he drinks? Maybe the dentist teeth stainy thing? So his teeth turn black.
NTA it’s time for a “sharing is caring: an itemized list of the things you ate and laughed at me when i said something about it”
The audacity of your roommate to pull “sharing is caring” when it’s your food but “it’s my special treat” when it’s his is hypocritical and fucking hilarious
Maybe now he’ll take you seriously. 😒 the cost of the individual food item is immaterial to the principle. Don’t touch other people’s fucking food. He’s consumed far more in costs than whatever 2 slices of a 40$ pizza cost. Sucks to suck. Do it again. Whenever he “forgets” to keep his fucking hands to himself. Don’t start none, won’t be none ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ nta
nta. but setting everything else aside, you “owing” $40 AND a new $40 pizza when you only had two slices is completely out of the goddamn question😂 that’s off the table altogether cause what on gods green earth is this man talking about
NTA, I would tell him that you two are even now. If he keeps eating your stuff, you will eat his expensive leftovers every single time. None of his food will ever be safe again.
“So what’s the agreement? We get to eat each other’s food or we leave each other’s food alone? Because the way you feel is the way I feel every time when my chips are gone are my ice cream nowhere and I paid for it. I think this Pizza will pretty much cover what you’ve eaten already. I say get your own food and I’ll get my own food and then we’ll both be happy.”