I (30m) am experiencing a rather delicate issue. First of all, I came from a culture where cleanliness, respect and hygiene are some of the top priority when it comes to a living space.
I gave person (50m) an eviction notice of 3 months (originally 1 month, but he also made a good point that it’s freezing out as of the moment, seeing that we live at the far north).
During the beginning of the holidays, we were at the kitchen where I have a mini-bar, with around 16 bottles of half full liquours. I gave him permission to try some stuff if he would like. He was quite modest about his response when he said he don’t really drink hard liquour, only drinks wine sometimes when in reality, he managed to drink 50% or more of the total remaining volume of the bottles. He texted me earlier today and apologized about demolising my liquour collection. That’s when everything culminated, and I replied that we need to talk. During the confrontation, I mentioned that some of the bottles are empty, which is alarming to me because it feels like there’s a substance abuse going on. I also remarked that earlier yesterday I took notice that he was actually drinking, in the morning! Within my apartment, I do have some rules, and some past issues that I communicated to him, to which he responded « So it’s a you problem. »
There are dried piss markings around the toilet, and the rug beside it absorbed a lot of them. He didn’t took it well when I brought up the odor, and was extremely defensive, and was pushing me to tell him that he stinks. I was trying to be sensitive about it and I explained that no, he doesn’t stink, but that the dried piss on the floor does, and even more the piss soaked rug which I had to eventually throw in the shower. He doesn’t see the problem with the odor because.. well, ofcourse piss stinks. We go to the washroom and I lit up my phone flashlight to point out the massive dried piss stains around the toilet, and he said it’s not me.
He said that before stopping working, he was an educator for kids. He invalidated my concerns, saying things like « You’re giving yourself a headache for nothing! »
I am trying to resolve with least headache possible, but my instincts is screaming « liar » and « manipulation ». I am trying to be aware if my emotions are telling me the right thing, but I do not know if I can do that for 3 months. I am thinking living at a different place in the meantime
Weird that you let a 50 yo dude into your home in the first place.
Anyway, I don’t understand why “it’s cold outside” means he can’t find a new place to live. You’re not sending him to the streets, the point is he finds another spare room somewhere.
You bring up unnecessary examples. If it’s not a good fit, break his lease, give him notice, start the process.
NTA