For context, my older sisters wife kicked her out, I won’t go into detail, because the details are irrelevant to my question. My sister keeps calling me multiple times per day saying how she’s so depressed and feels unwanted, it’s honestly getting really annoying. Its not like I don’t care, I mean, what kind of younger brother would I be if I didn’t care? I do care, but I have my own wife and kid to worry about taking care of. I understand that she’s going through a lot right now, but this has been going on for about a month at this point. It’s getting really tiring having to drop everything I’m doing with my own wife and kid to listen to her talk about her martial problems. Would I be the ass hole if told my sister that I’m not her therapist and I really don’t want to talk about her martial problems anymore and she can’t keep calling me multiple times per day expecting to be on the phone for over an hour each time?
the problem is you answering multiple times a day, and the reason for the split does matter, a hard done by sister gets a different level of help in this house to one that is the guilty party in it
Honestly I’ve started not answering, because it’s always the same thing every time, and she never listens to my advice. I tell her to stop trying to fix things with her wife, she’s only making it worse and she’s better off without her anyway, but like I said, she never listens. Only problem is when I tell her I’m busy, she then says she feels like she’s a burden on everyone…
NTA for the original question. YTA for dropping things with your wife and daughter to entertain your sister, you’re enabling her behavior. She can hire a therapist.
Honestly I’ve just started ignoring her phone calls. She has a therapist, but she still keeps calling me wanting to cry to me about her problems. I’m 32 and she’s 36 for context, and I’ve been married to my wife for 12 years and we have a 4yo level 1 autistic son, she’s been married to hers for 2 years and they have no kids… My problem is, I just don’t know how to tell her that I can’t be her therapist. If she wants to call me about something I can actually help with, like when she’s having car problems, that’s fine.
The logical thing to do is to sit her down and be honest. Helping her, should not come at yours or your family’s expense. Draw line on the sand. You’re both adults. She’s going through a rough time, but you also have a family to think of. If she blows up, that’s not on you. You did your part, it’s up to her to fix her own issues.
It sounds like she needs to transition into therapy to really work through these issues. You can say you’re always her sibling, and that what she needs right now is to work through all of this.
NTA. Even a paid therapist doesn’t take multiple calls a day. You need to stop answering more than what you are comfortable with.
Hell no. Be there for your sister. She’s your blood but do not let her burden you or make you feel the weight of her own issues.
NTA. Choose an amount of time per week you can talk to her and then set that boundary with her. Do so with care and love but be firm about the fact that you just don’t have the ability to be there for her beyond that time due to everything else going on in your life.
Do not tell your sister that you’re not her therapist. Just let her know you don’t have time to talk and that you have family obligations. You could suggest a therapist, but I doubt telling her you are not her therapist would go over very well.