Almost nine years ago, I (46m) bought my nephew (now 25m at the time) a car with the agreement that he would pay me back. It wasn’t fancy, it didn’t look the best, but it was the expected “beater” first car.
He did not have the easiest life and I took him in to help him understand what being a responsible adult meant, and I feel that I was successful to some extent, but not completely, and I’m content with that.
About two years ago, we agreed that an estimated amount of $2000 is what would satisfy the repayment, though I know that the car, insurance, inspection, and registration equaled closer to $5000. In the end, I divorced his blood related uncle (55m), but my nephew and I both agree that our family relationship has not changed. I love my nephew very much, I’ve known him since he was 9 and will never abandon him for anything.
My problem now is that I’ve hid a very bad spot in my life, both mentally and financially, and I could really use that repayment, but I’m afraid of bringing it up again and fear that he might bring this up with my ex husband, and I feel that he has no need to know about my life anymore.
I’m in the rock/hard place spot, and I don’t want to sully my relationship with my, but I really am in the hard place now.
So, WIBTA?
NTA. You said it yourself, you guys have an agreement about him paying it back. But I would definitely let him know about the situation, because if truly nothing of your relationship had changed despite the divorce, then he would be able to understand and might even offer help.
NTA.
Both of you are adults, so there should be no problem in bringing up the issue again. Simply tell him that like you were there for him, you hope he can be there for you. Since the two of you agreed that you’re still family to each other, you can ask him to please not discuss your business with your ex. He’s old enough to understand the dynamics of the relationships involved.
YWBTA. You are not entitled to the $5k. When you sat down and talked years ago you set the debt at $2k. That is the legally agreed upon debt. Your nephew is not the place to look to better your financial situation.
I’m not considering asking for the $5k, just the $2k that we agreed upon. I honor my side of agreements, I’m only asking for him to do the same.
The nephew hasn’t paid the 2k back yet if I am understanding this correctly, OP is just thinking about asking about the 2k, not asking for an additional 3k
OP never once stated the wanted $5,000. They very clearly state that they want $2,000…..
I don’t think OP wants the $5k, just the $2k they agreed on
YWNBTA. You agreed on a fair payment, so a simple “Hey, I’m going through a bit of a rough spot myself right now, would you mind making a bit more progress towards paying it back?” shouldn’t really hurt much of anything.
YWNBTA – There is nothing wrong with wanting your nephew to pay you back but if you waited this long then it might be a little tricky from a legal standpoint unless everything was agreed upon in writing. Hopefully your nephew is not an asshole.
NTA
He agreed to repay you. Not doing so would make him an ah. Not sure if it’s possible, but maybe sit down with him and come to some sort of payment plan?? Maybe $100 a week/biweekly until it’s paid off??
Why did it take almost 9 years to get to this point?
I honestly think you should find another way to get money at this point. It’s over 7 years.
Reaching out just in case isn’t bad but I wouldn’t depend on it. It’s already been long enough.
WNBTA Just tell him that it’s time to repay his debt. There’s no need to go into your financial situation. Just say that it’s coming up on ten years and as a responsible young man, it’s time to repay his debt. That’s all he needs to know
NTA, he had agreed to pay you back the 2k, but you can’t control what he talks about with your ex so you have to decide up to what point that’s important to you.
NTA because it’s your money, but kind of crazy to let this much time pass with money. Most times people won’t have it so be prepared for him not to have it after this long.