First of all, I wanted to explain something important about the story:
There is a game company called "Supercell" which sometimes runs a contest called "Supercell Make" where you can create cosmetics for some characters. They recently did one for one of their games, and I wanted to try to participate to see if I had any luck.
I showed my designs to my family to ask for feedback, and my mother asked if I could send her the drawings so she could do something she didn’t want to tell me.
Today (at least in Spain) is Three Kings Day, and we went downstairs to open the presents. Really excited, I opened my third present, and I got a bottle with the design of the skin I made. I thanked her and asked her if I could only use the bottle when I’m inside my house because I would feel embarrassed using a bottle with my own skin design from a kids’ game outside. She looked a bit disappointed, but I really liked the gift.
Then, after opening some presents, I opened another one of my presents, which looked like clothing.
I looked at my mother, and she looked really excited. I opened the present and… it was a hoodie with my design. I told her I loved it and I was really thankful for her making this present for me, but I told her the same thing as before. She then said she had spent too much money for me to just wear it inside the house, and she started crying. Then I hugged her and tried to talk to her, but then she went upstairs and locked herself inside her room. She didn’t even finish opening her own presents.
I now feel really bad and don’t know what to do. Am I the asshole? I genuinely loved the presents and was very thankful; I just felt embarrassed wearing them outside.
EDIT: ~~Everyone is saying im the asshole because I forgot to say I really loved the presents. I told my mother I loved her and the presents and thanked her before saying the other stuff.~~ I just realised I did say it and everyone is not saying I should only thank her because I didn’t, It was just because the other comment was unnecessary. I’m not even joking, her presents were by far the best ones I got.
UPDATE: I just talked with her and told her how bad I felt. I regret everything I said and I wish I didn’t say that. I told her. I asked for the hoodie back and said I thought about it more and was proud about my design, there is no problem wearing it. She said she knew I didn’t want to wear it and asked to leave it on her bed. She said she would love to wear it. Before leaving her room, I hugged her and gave her a kiss.
Soft YTA for bringing it up when you get the gift. You should have just been excited and grateful and left it at that. Then you could just avoid taking those items outside, or like wear the hoodie to other family events like going to a grandparents house but not somewhere you’d run into people from school, etc. To immediately start talking about how you’d be embarrassed to be seen with those things ruins her ability to enjoy giving you the gift.
Also, in the future, if you share with someone about an interest you have but wouldn’t want other people to know you’re into that thing, you should tell them that up front. Your mom has no way of knowing that the skins you made voluntarily and were excited to show her are something that you also look down on and think is embarrassing.
Kind of. You have a very good mom. If anything, you should be proud.
YTA – that was pretty rude. You should have told your mom upfront you weren’t sharing designs outside of the house. How was she supposed to know?
YTA for not letting your mum enjoy her moment of being super excited about getting you/making you an original present and seeing your pleasure. She must have been hugging that secret to herself for a while. Then you (too quickly) kind of killed the vibe by mentioning your embarrassment at being seen outside with her gifts. Ouch!
BTW – why are you embarrassed by your own creativity? Your mum obviously thought they were great.
YTA sorry. Your mom is proud of you and your talent and wanted you to know that. She made a special gift just to show you how proud of you she feels. The sad thing is you can’t go back in time to fix this. All you can do is try to tell your mom why you’re embarrassed by your design and that you are not embarrassed by the gifts. You love the gifts and the thought that went into them. If someone asks you about the shirt with your design on it you should tell them your mom made it for you for Three Kings Day.
YTA- What happened to just saying thank you? I would love when my mom indulged into my interests to get me a nice gift that involved it. And you saw she was excited too. That’s really upsetting to hear. Go give her an apology and another hug right now.
Little bit YTA. Not a lot though. This is less a problem of what you said, but when you said it and a bit of a lack of communication generally.
You can both grow from this. Take the opportunity to talk to your mum at some point to really deliver the idea that you loved the presents and that you are happy she took something you enjoy and went out of her way to make a bespoke thing for you. It legit sounds like a cool gift, no matter how you use it. The other thing to do is take this as an opportunity to improve yourself as well. Your mum gave you a gift with something you presumably have at least some passion for. Wear it outside sometimes and build up your confidence. Don’t use it as an excuse either – you’re not wearing it because “your mum gave you it”, you’re wearing it because “I enjoy it and this present means a lot to you”.
There’s a way for everyone to come out of this for the better and a clunky interaction once won’t be remembered if feelings are good afterwards.
YTA. Your response is a great example of being ungrateful.
YTA! Why are you embarrassed by your own design? Your mom made an effort to get you a unique and personalised present and you literally threw it in her face. To get these things custom made is expensive and you basically told her that you are embarrassed by her thoughtful gift!
I can sort of see where the embarrassment is coming from, but still YTA. Your mom is clearly really proud of you and you just told her that you’re embarrassed by her gifts. It was unnecessary to say you didn’t want to use them outside of the house
you do know that most of the designers for kids’ games are adults, yeah? why would you be embarrassed to wear your designs in public? loads of grownups wear mario tshirts and that was supposed to be a kids’ game. i think you are more foolish and insecure than AH, but since that’s the voting system, YTA.
Plus, many adults today wear lots of merch associated with media ‘for kids.’ Hello Kitty, Pokémon, Sonic, all kinds of franchises. OP sounds really young though, so they might well still be at that phase where they’re worried about being seen as childish because they’re working so hard to identify as mature.
Why would you immediately inform her that you refuse to use her gifts in public? Was just saying thank you too hard?
There’s really never going to be a time when it’s appropriate to, upon receiving a gift from someone you know loves you and wants to make you happy, immediately tell them its flaws or that you won’t use it as intended. I mean, maybe if they present you with something you’re allergic to or would otherwise harm you. But most people who love you and want you to be happy wouldn’t do that on purpose, so even then, the way you communicate the problem would need to be better.
Do you have trouble socially? This is just so tone deaf I’m wondering if anything else could be going on.
YTA. The moment you open a gift is not the time to tell someone you don’t want to be seen with that gift outside the house. Honestly I don’t know if it ever needed to be said, unless she noticed you weren’t using the water bottle or hoodie outside the house and she questioned you about it.