i, 17f, my mom, 51f, and my moms boyfriend 59m are the people that you need to know in context for this. so the way i was raised is that you should always have respect for someone. like for example, i always opened doors for people because i thought it was polite! i always asked questions for things i didn’t know, and never tried to act like i knew something i didn’t. so this took place yesterday. i was walking into the kitchen to grab some water while my mom and her boyfriend were chatting in there. then my mom starts to talk about how she accidentally gave me two second degree burns, which yes, were completely accidental. she starts talking about how she felt really bad because they were so red and blistered. my moms boyfriend, let’s call him caesar, says that "second degree burns are always white so therefore i didn’t get second degree burns." my mom starts saying no, that’s not true, burns come in all colors. he doubles down on his word, repeating that all second degree burns are white. i then say before he can spew another word out of his mouth "caesar, let’s not try to correct her. she’s been a nurse for over twenty years for gods sake, she has literally worked in the ER, she knows how burns work." it wouldn’t have pissed me off if he had just worded it differently and said "oh, i thought all second degree burns were white". he didn’t even apologize for undermining my moms knowledge of her field, he just said "touché". so am i the asshole?
No, NTA. I do question the wisdom and character of a man who would contradict the expertise of a healthcare professional if he isn’t one himself.
Gah. Where are the capital letters?
She’s out of them. Boomer stepdad took them all.
NTA. I love that you stuck up for your mom. 🥹
Me who got blisters from the sun: oh really? These aren’t second degree burns?!?
Capitalization doesn’t exist anymore?
My friend tried to convince my my third degree burn was a second degree burn, with the same reasoning “it looks like chicken” (I assume she meant in that it was white). I’d gone to a burn specialist who seriously considered skin grafts because it was *third degree*, and after disclosing this with an air of finality she *finally* dropped it with a parting “hmm well it looks like a second degree to me 🙄.” She’s not employed anywhere even remotely related to the medical field, but was convinced her “looks like chicken” diagnosis was worth more than a professional who literally specializes in burns.
Some people just like to think they know everything, and there’s very little we can do about it. Ah well. C’est la vie.
Edit: NTA, good on you for standing up to misinformation! Doesn’t even sound like you did it rudely tbh, just “hey man, she’s got training and you don’t, let’s shush”
Caesar’s an asshole.
nta. & what’s with the comments crying about no capital letters? this isn’t a graded essay?? jeez
Capital letters help you read the text faster and easier
becausewehaveagreeduponfunctionsforwrittenlanguagethatmakeourwritingeasiertoread,byignoringthosefuntionsyoumakeitharderforpeopletounderstandwhatyou’vewrittenwhichisbothlazyandinconsiderate.
NTA-seems like he also has low regard or respect for your mom’s knowledge. Have there been other instances where he has tried to undermine your mom?
yes! my mom was building a mini trampoline that she got for herself to do some fun workouts. she had explained to him what she did and what she tried to do, but they sent her the wrong parts. so he says, oh i’ll take a look at it. so he looks at it and repeats back the exact same thing she said 😭 this man’s audacity lmao
NTA, but it’s clear you feel like the issue is unresolved because he didn’t apologize. It also sounds like you have other issues with him. I don’t blame you, but you’re going to have to figure out how to handle that, especially if your mom is bothered by it.