(Take THREE because I clearly dont know how to use this website) Hello this is my first time on Reddit, but I’ve seen videos about this thread and need advice.
So my husband (38) just finished off the New Year with an amazing reward from his company! Him and a few others from the most successful teams got two tickets to hawaii, and a week away to some sort of tropical island resort that looked BEAUTIFUL online.
Now keep in mind I am a (35F) mom of two, and this year has been long and stressful. So after he excitedly told me the news on the 26th of December I sprang into action! Eager for our vacation I ordered some new fun swimsuits and a few outfits.
Yesterday I decided to make an angel food cake in celebration because it is his favorite, and I bought coconut whipped cream to put on top as a fun and tropical addition. When he got home from work though I gave him a slice and after he took a bite he angrily told me he wouldn’t eat anymore because the whipped cream was coconut flavored like I said and apparently he "hates coconut". I decided it must just be work stress and obviously embarrassed I put the cake away. I didn’t pry that whole evening, but today just about an hour ago he came to me and told me something that devestated me. He told me that the reason he had snapped about it even though it was a little thing was because he was upset because I had assumed the second ticket was for me but he had already been planning on bringing someone else, his work friend (Angela 24 F, who is a secretary, NOT A BIG PART OF THIS COMPANY!! But he said she did a great job this year as a new recruit, and according to him this isn’t weird because she is a lesbian).
Now I obviously was super disappointed and upset with him, but it is his trip so I don’t know how to feel about it. I think I deserve a break from the kids too, and l also work and got a huge raise this year so just another reason I think it should be me! And of course the obvious reason I AM HIS WIFE! I was expecting this to be a fun spicy getaway, but now I’m doubting our relationship. Keep in mind we have been married for 9 years and like I said, have raised two kiddos together. I need help ASAP because he leaves for this trip on Friday!!
So is this MY fault?? Am I the asshole?
Girlllll 🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩taking a female colleague on this trip over his wife is not ok. Do you have evidence Angela is actually a lesbian from anyone else? Also what’s the sleeping situation, would he be sharing a bed with her?
NTA
Sorry??? He’s planning on taking a woman 14 years younger than him on this vacation?? He’d be coming home to changed locks and his shit packed and I don’t care how long you are married.
Of course you are NTA for assuming he would take his wife. You need to really sit down with him and explain how inappropriate it is for him to take her (she should also know better) and ask him straight up is he having an affair or hoping to have one, because this is unbelievable.
NTA.
Why wouldn’t you assume the ticket was for you? I’ve been on those type of reward trips before, the second ticket is for a significant other. No one ever brings the assistant from work.
Are you sure the assistant is a lesbian? That he’s not cheating with her?
“ Him and a few others from the most successful teams got two tickets to hawaii”.
Note “two” tickets. This obviously means “one for you, and one for the special person in your life”. Sadly, the special person in your husband’s life is his secretary.
I am very happy to hear that you got a pay rise this year, because you will need every bit of money you can possibly get when you divorce his lame ass.
NTA.
Nta absolutely not. He is going with his gf on his work trip who is his coworker. Hr is going to have fun with this. How are things going to work when he gets fired and you going to support him or divorce him.
Nta. I’m going to assume a lot of bts here but I bet I’m right and you just need a divorce.
Document as much as you can in writing about this whole thing and then hand it to a shark lawyer.
This story is fake, that’s why it keeps getting deleted.
NTA. Lesbian or not doesn’t matter. He is a bad husband to even think of taking someone else. Whether that be a man or women. Full stop.
This can’t be real. Please tell me this is fake AI. I would come home to changed locks and a process server with divorce papers at the front door. No. At the airport. Oh and all my stuff in a storage unit in the seediest part of town.
Lesbian in my 20’s here. If my 40-year-old male coworker, who I’m assuming would be senior to me, invited me to be his plus one a resort in Hawaii I would be running in the other direction SO fast. I’m sure there are lesbians who would go so I’m not going to speculate about whether or not he’s lying about her being one but regardless I cannot read your husband’s behavior as anything but predatory.
Not to mention treating you badly over making a nice cake is bad enough on its own.
NTA. I would be asking him why I’m not invited and why he thinks it ok to take another woman on a couples trip. 🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩
This is not ok for him to do and the way he treated you over the cake was another 🚩 as he was feeling guilty about what he is going to do.
Sit him down, tell him how you feel and that it’s not ok to go on holiday with his secretary and you won’t be there when he comes back if he does this. Updateme.
NTA
Do you really want to stay married to someone that doesn’t want to be with you in Hawaii?
Like the fact her thought about bringing ANYONE other than you is wild
Make it more specifically a younger woman and that’s fucking insane
Divorce. Divorce. Divorce. Honey. If my work ever gave me two tickets to Hawaii, the LAST person I’d invite is some rando secretary. Hellllll no. I’m taking my hot ass wife and dumping my kid with grandma and grandpa. Oh and. Miss “Angela” isn’t a lesbian. Your soon to be ex is terrible at lying. Lmao.
NTA. I have been on many of these trips. Always a spouse. Unless you don’t have one – then you bring someone special (and appropriate) or no one.
We had a rule about taking a colleague – it was not allowed so the award winner did not feel pressured to take the runner-up (and if they did so, create an issue with all the other runner ups that did not get to go because other winners took their spouse).
It is also a recognition of the spouse as we knew that success does not come without support from them and time away from home/ family. most people enjoy having their spouse see them get recognized and want to share the moment with them.
Your husband is cheating, dumb or both.