Something my partner mentioned to me a while ago that was annoying her was apparently me "always needing to be right". She said it was getting to her and I said I’d look at it and try to work on it.
I asked if she could give any examples and she said it can be things like if she was talking about something that was in the news, I’d mention my viewpoint.
Another example she gave was when we went away for a night last month we were at a restaurant and we needed to be at a cocktail bar quite quickly to make our reservation as I’d paid quite a large deposit. I mentioned which way would be quickest to walk and my girlfriend suggested an alternative that she said would be better.
The alternative was a longer route which I mentioned to her since it would mean we’d lose our deposit and she got annoyed. I used google maps to show her but she still was annoyed.
For a while I believed that it was me causing the issue but then I thought that if this was such an issue, more people would have brought it up to me but it has only been my gf so I asked some of my oldest friends who I trust to be honest and they said they haven’t noticed it before and I asked the same of some relatives and they said the same.
Last night we were sat with the balcony door open and it was windy and the wind was slamming the door into the metal railings. I was in the kitchen and I shouted through to ask her to close the door since it is mainly glass so I don’t want it to shatter. My girlfriend said no and to leave it.
I closed the door and all she said was "there you go again, needing to be right". I explained that I didn’t want the door to break since it’s not our apartment so we’d lose our security deposit.
I said she can’t get annoyed when I am actually right about something.
I mentioned that I think the actual problem is her not being able to accept people not just agreeing with her all the time and not being able to accept when she’s wrong.
She said I was out of line and I pointed out in every example she has gave about me needing to be right, I was either just voicing a differing opinion, like with the news stories, or me pointing out a solution such as when we went away and needed to be at the bar.
She just repeated that I clearly haven’t bothered to listen to her when she said "me needing to be right" is causing problems for us but I just told her I should be allowed to voice my opinion without it leading to an argument and that there’s a difference between needing to be right and just disagreeing with her.
She just said I clearly didn’t want to work on it despite knowing it’s upsetting her. I asked what she wanted exactly because I shouldn’t have to just not be able to speak because she doesn’t like a differing opinion or doesn’t like being corrected.
I pointed out the examples I gave would have cost us both money if I had just shut up and let her make the decision. She just shrugged and couldn’t actually say what she wanted me to do.
It’s bad enough that this is an old repost, but do you need to keep spamming it everywhere?
You posted this yesterday or the day before. Were not enough of the responses showing you were right for your liking?
If you didn’t need to always be right, you wouldn’t haven’t spend the last week spamming this question. YTA
ESH
You for not finding a more tactful way to not make her constantly feel like an idiot. Her for seemingly rejecting valid concerns in these scenarios
Bruh your girlfriend literally wanted you to let a glass door potentially shatter rather than admit you had a point – that’s not you “needing to be right” that’s just basic problem solving lmao
YTA
Bruh….your spam repost of this is clearly a need for you to be right….
Guilty as charged, friend.
The mere fact that you are posting this again, within a matter of a few days, indicates that you’re obsessed with being right and wanting to prove it if it’s questioned. YTA
I think you need to change tact. With the example of which route was quicker, I would say “Okay, let’s go your route. If we’re late then you’ll be paying for tonight”. I would’ve gone as far as risking the glass door breaking and making her pay for it if it does (You won’t lose the security depoist if you repair the issue usually). Don’t do the “told you so” thing, just make sure the she knows the consequences will be on her, she’ll need to deal with them and be sure to follow through. Dealing with the consequences of actions has a funny way of making people rethink their position.
NTA. You just happen to be right most of the time, your partner knows this and it gets to her. If it bothers her that you’re right then let her be wrong and see if that bothers her too. Same thing, different perspective. Though she’ll probably change to “You should’ve warned me better” or some other silly retort. She can either listen to your wisdom or learn from her own mistakes.
This is now your 3rd account
https://ihsoyct.github.io/?backend=artic_shift&mode=submissions&author=u%2FDue-Character7149&limit=100&sort=desc
https://ihsoyct.github.io/?backend=artic_shift&mode=submissions&author=u%2FDoctorFickle2436&limit=100&sort=desc
Just break up and stop this YTA
YTA for the copy pasta
You didn’t like the responses you got and thought you could dirty delete, repost and get something different, huh? YTA. Break up and get therapy.
This was mind-numbing to read. You both sound insufferable.
(My best guess is that you have “um actually ☝️🤓” tone when pointing things out, and she’s struggling to articulate what bothers her because it’s not the *content* but instead the *delivery*, and that can be harder to pinpoint when you’re already frustrated. But that’s just my read on it, not any excuse.)
If both of you care about the relationship, I think you’d both look that extra inch farther to understand what drives the other’s behavior. But if that’s above the effort level of this relationship, probably best to let this one go before the resentment builds.