I (F) have 3 roommates . When I first signed the lease, I left my belongings there but didn’t actually live in the unit for the first year. During that time, they demanded I pay full utilities/bills despite not being there; I refused, which started a long-standing feud.
Now that I have officially moved in to settle, the dynamic is toxic. Two of the roommates are "hot and cold"they were briefly nice for a week, but have now switched to completely ignoring me. Ihave been living with them for 4 months now
They ignore my messages in the group chat regarding bills and chores, even when they are actively replying to each other in the same thread.
The building’s front door is currently broken. When I message the group to be let in, they ignore me, but will immediately reply to and open the door for the other roommates.( the only one who responds is the third roommate the other two just ignores it)
I once put my shoes in the living room cupboard they moved it out and put some dusty old pillows that were sitting above the cupboard for over a year
I’ve stopped trying to be friendly or make small talk. I am perfectly fine being "professional" roommates, but they are now weaponizing logistics and house management to make me feel unwelcome. Like When the "head" roommate asks for bill money, she ignores my messages asking for her banking info or payment links, making it impossible for me to pay my share.
There is so many other stuff i didn’t mention idk how to deal with them i dont want to live in stress i feel ostracised
Why did you sign a lease when you didn’t really live there? Was your belongings there stopping them from getting a roommate who was paying their full share?
I’ll drop an ESH just because of the way you handled everything here.
Why are you coping so much with a group of people that obviously don’t want you? Just move to a different place, no?
So you treated the space like a storage locker for a year and didn’t pay towards utilities. YTA
YTA. You signed lease you had obligations. They signed on to live in a place with a four way split of bills. You made an executive and unilateral decision to screw them over and change the spilt to 3 ways. Of course they ice you out and don’t open the door for you. They don’t like you. Then when you did move in you decided to usurp common space for your own personal needs and harass them about money when you owe them a year’s worth of back utilities and bills. Do you really not understand that if they took you to small claims court you would have to pay them for bills and utilities for thesst year, likely with interest. Move out. You owe that much to these girls. There is no salvaging the relationship and you are a horrible roommate.
Just to clarify one thing : I paid 100% of my rent for the entire year. The room was not ’empty’ in a way that lost anyone money the landlord was paid in full by me. And bills are
They weren’t ‘piggybacking’ me I was subsidizing their privacy. The only thing I didn’t pay for was the metered consumption (the electricity they used while I was gone). I am not a ‘guest’ in a room I pay for I am a tenant, and I have every right to use my room for storage or for living
So we need some clarity here
1- you signed the lease – moved all your stuff into the room and then said you wouldn’t be paying anything in full as you weren’t there? But your stuff is there
2- did you think about subletting that room while you were not there for a year- so that your house mates had someone to help with the finances that you should’ve been helping with
3- did your housemates know that you wouldn’t be living there for a year prior to signing? Because if not I can understand how that would ruffle some feathers
4- did you know these people before you moved in? Because if I was already living in this flat and you then joined and signed the lease, stored your stuff there and then dipped for a year while saying that I’m not paying for anything in full, since I am not living there- I would be very irritated too
I feel like your not adding context or your missing out parts to make you seem in the right
But in my opinion YAH
All of you need to sit down and have a discussion because now they are being a little unreasonable but also you could just move out
1. Rent was paid in full I never said I didn’t pay ‘anything.’ I paid 100% of my rent for the entire year. The landlord was paid and the room was mine. My belongings were there and I paid for that space.
2. Utilities are Metered In my country, we don’t have ‘flat fees.’ We have meters. If I am not there I am not using a single kilowatt of power. My roommates are asking me to pay for the AC and heaters they used while I was gone. Why should I pay for their personal comfort usage when I didn’t add a single cent to the meter?
3. My lease is an individual contract with the landlord. I am responsible for my room, and they are responsible for theirs. They are not ‘helping me’ with my finances, and I am not ‘helping’ with theirs. Whether I am there or not, their rent price stays exactly the same.
Why did you pay a year’s rent then not live there? Why didn’t you sublet?
YTA
You ‘blocking’ the room meant that they couldn’t get someone who would pay utilities share – so you should have done this.
INFO: Wouldn’t it have MUCH cheaper to just get a storage unit instead of treating an apartment room that you weren’t actually living in like one?
And just to be clear, you *were* actually *using* the heating and cooling because it was protecting your property in a way that storage units do not do. Storage units aren’t cool or hot *unless* you pay extra for it. Getting a unit that heats and cools your stuff costs extra because it’s keeping your items at a steadier temperature and using utilities to do it. You were using that room as a heated and cooled storage space, i.e. using utilities.
If you’d put it in a regular storage, all of your stuff would have been a lot more vulnerable to the cold and heat and something would have gotten ruined. It ALWAYS happens. Candles melt, mice get into things, etc.
Also, someone asked if you told the roomates that you wouldn’t be living there for a year and you answered with a totally different explanation about having a separate lease. The question was: Did they actually know you wouldn’t be there?
Clean what you use. If your under a lease? Just do you. While there, change your bdr handle to a locking one. (Dont feel comfy doing that? There are locking nightstands.) Stay to yourself. Ignore them. If it gets too unbearable? Start looking for another spot sweets. But keep you n yours to you. Do not even get mail there, get a po box.
YTA for moving everything in and not living there for a year and not paying bills.
They could’ve gotten another roomates that was actually there, to split the bills with, a lot of the time bills are fixed and don’t fluctuate much no matter how much things are being used. You should have at least payed for a portion.
However, them treating you like that sucks but you did move into there space after you just dumped your shit and left.
I think you should def try to have a conversation, they sounds like very angry at you and could have more of a valid reason than you think
YTA and if I were the roommates I would not speak you either