I (39f) am planning my birthday party and am thinking about not inviting certain female friends’ male partners. They treat my friends really badly in their relationship and families, and it makes me really feel a lot of anger towards them. Can I ask my friends to come alone and to leave the kids with their deadbeat husbands or would that put too much pressure on our friendship and their relationship?
Additional info: I was planning to throw a big party and to invite some male partners of my female friends but not all. I see this can become tricky to navigate..
NTA. It’s your celebration, and it can be as intimate or inclusive as you want. Just tell them ahead of time to give them the opportunity to make plans. Hope they take it and it works out.
NTA – but to avoid some drama here I’d suggest you ask that no one bring their partners unless you want to tell those specific friends why their partners are the only ones not invited
NTA but be prepared to have unhappy friends and possibly lose one/some over this.
I mean…you can invite whoever you want to a birthday celebration, but 1. Don’t be surprised if they don’t come and 2. Either don’t invite all the husbands, including the ones you do like or expect there will be fallout.
Edit NTA
Call it a girls night birthday party.
If you’re planning to invite some partners (you said certain partners) YTA. Invite all partners or none.
YWBTA if you split the group up into those who can bring a date and those who can’t. It’s all partners or no partners if you don’t want to lose friends.
It cant be some of them, it has to be all of them or none of them.
This is going to backfire in such a big way 🍿
Shouldn’t be an issue once you frame it as a small gathering with no partners/plus ones and don’t invite other friend’s partners who you do like
I don’t think this would be weird at all. I never invite my friend’s husbands to my birthday party lol. I do agree with other commenters that it should be all or nothing. Inviting some partners while excluding others would be rude imo. NTA
It’s your party so the invite list is up to you. Just be prepared for them to decline the invitation if their partners are singled out as non invitees and don’t kick up a fuss if they do.
NAH as long as you don’t make a fuss if they decline to attend and they don’t make a fuss either. I’d say the safest thing to do would be to say “no partner’s at all” rather than single any of them out.
Have an all women party or invite the spouses.
Either / or if you invite one without the other or you’ll lose them completely.
INFO – Are you planning on inviting only females, only friends with no partners, or only certain female friends’ male partners? (the wording makes it sound like the latter) If it is only certain female friends’ partners that you are excluding but you’re inviting other female friends’ partners, then you would be wrong. I understand how frustrating it is to see your friends being treated poorly by their partner, but inviting some friends partners and not others is setting up your friends in bad relationships to face backlash from their bad partners. What if their partner asks why he’s not invited? What if he asks if other spouses or other men were invited? Your friends would then have to lie or explain to him that you don’t like him. Either would probably make a bad partner pretty angry. The safest choice for you and friends, other than allowing everyone to bring partners, is to make it a girls night only or friends night only if you have guy friends – but no partners of friends unless you’re directly friends with the partner as well.