i wouldn’t expect her to spend 150 dollars with a 3 hours drive for something she will hate and I doubt you all would shame her for not going if I was in musical
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My daughter in law ( she is 32) and is very good at playing instruments and singing. Her main job is live preforming at weddings. Usually she plays the piano when the bride comes down.
Last year she tried out for the local theater and was casted as a the ensemble. She has been rehearsing with them for a couple of months and the first performance is in the beginning of February. She mentioned wanting everyone to buy tickets over the holidays.
There are a few reasons I don’t wish to go. One, I hate musical ( I never liked them) Two, the musical is religious ( I am very much not, it’s Jesus Christ Superstar). Three, the tickets cost 75 dollars, I would rather spend that money elsewhere. Four, it will be an 1.5 drive to get to the place.
I talked it over with my husband and he didn’t wish to go either so we gave a polite reason when we wouldn’t make it. Just said we had other plans already. I thought that was the end of it
My dil brought it up the other day and asked if we could move our plans. I told her no and then kept pressing what we were doing. She kept pressing and I snapped that I do not wish to go. She stopped afterwards
My son is pissed at me and told me I need to go. We got into an argument over it. I explained my reasoning and pointed out that not everyone goes to everything. Hes is 29 and knows that.
He is telling me I still need to go.
edit: I don’t want to see any bible character ina musical. I dont. Judas Mary or Jesus. i Don’t want to to watch a musical with them as charagters
my DIL isn’t a child… I don’t know why people are acting like she is . She is 32
i wouldn’t expect her to spend 150 dollars with a 3 hours drive for something she will hate and I doubt you all would shame her for not going if I was in musical
Jesus Christ Superstar is not religious lol. YTA for not using Google to learn about the show.
Glad someone pointed this out. YTA. Suck it up and be supportive.
I was thinking that I have super religious relatives that might throw a punch if they heard Jesus Christ Superstar described as religious.
YTA. It clearly sounds like this is important to her and I get not wanting to go, but it sounds like she wants you there. Unless you have a legitimate reason (like real plans instead of lying), you should go. She wouldn’t be asking you about it so much if she didn’t care.
NTA for not wanting to go, but don’t forget scenarios like this in the future where they decide they’d rather do things than spend time with you. it’s obviously important to her, and therefore your son.
YTA. It’s literally one day out of your entire life. Just do it. Who cares if it’s boring. She’s your daughter in law.
YTA
My sister (40) is a violinist and plays with a local non-profit symphony. I don’t particularly love classical music but you can bet your ass the entire family was there for her recent first performance as concert master of the ensemble.
We are a supportive family. It sounds like you are not.
She clearly doesn’t like her DIL.
I cannot imagine the number of things I’ve gone to that I didn’t want to, because I love the people doing them. Recitals, games, performances. My friend is a fixking opera singer and my husband and I have gone to see her numerous times sing in a language we don’t understand. I’m running an ultra marathon in another state this summer and my MIL who has health problems and a very sick husband said she wanted to come watch/cheer. It’s not about the activity, it’s about the person.
Jesus Christ Superstar is a rock opera that is disliked by a lot of super religious ppl. Please look things up before dismissing it. I am glad my mother in law did not talk about the show that I did with my local theater group in this manner. I understand that 75 dollars is a lot of money. And had you mentioned only that, I would understand. But your posts screams of carelessness and its rude also. It is like you simply cannot be bothered. Frankly idk why she even asked you to go with the way you speak here.
YTA
Wow. Your daughter is performing in Jesus Christ Superstar (NOT a religious musical) and you’re not even going to go see her? It’s a big deal to her, who cares what it is? Go see it.
YTA, it’s almost like you’re *trying* to be selfish and unsupportive.
YTA. She’s asking you to attend because it’s her first performance in a musical and your support would be meaningful to her. Your excuse about JCS being religious is ignorant if you can’t do bare research about a musical. Why would you expect people to show up for you when you cannot reciprocate. Your DIL wanted to include you in her life and experiences and you’re unwilling to suck it up for a night? Your attitude firmly makes you an asshole.
Sometimes we do unpleasant things for the sake of others. For the low, low cost of half a day and $150, you would make two people in your life utterly thrilled and happy, reinforce your relationship, and obligate them to reciprocate at some future event of yours they’d rather skip.
I think that’s worth it. But it you don’t have that level of relationship with your son and aren’t interested in building on it, then I guess that’s your decision. Just be aware of the long term consequences and gracious when they hit.
“So, I have a really low-stakes opportunity for you: You can pay $75 per ticket to a show your daughter-in-law will be performing in, that lasts about only about two hours (plus a three hour round-trip to get there). But, I’m sure we could do dinner or something fun and, you know… make a night of it.”
“So, what do I get out of it?”
“Ah, well that’s the best part. You’ll be showing your support to both your son and your daughter-in-law, which will pay dividens towards your future relationship with both of them.”
“Wait, this is called ‘Jesus Christ Superstar’. I don’t like religious stuff.”
“Oh, not to worry… it’s actually a very secular play. It’s not theological in the slightest. And, like I said, this will be a super easy way for you to show your love and support for both your daughter-in-law, and your son. So, what do you say, can we go ahead and pencil you in for that date?”
No… fuck that! I don’t want anything of the sort and I would much rather burn those two relationships to the ground. The last thing I need is for my daughter-in-law to get the idea that we ‘care’ about her, or my son to think that we support his choice of partner. So, if it’s all the same to you, I would prefer it if you could instead supply me with a couple of gallons of gasoline and a box of matches.”
“Well… okay then. Napalm it is.”