About a year ago, I was in a VRChat friend group where the vibe was "anything goes." We were all very blunt, made uncomfortable jokes, and matched each other’s "edgy" energy. Around this time, I was in the process of getting diagnosed as a system.
One person, "A," used his own diagnosis to gatekeep me. He would constantly question me, demanding names and ages of alters to "fact-check" me. I also had a very close friend, "C," in this group.
The breaking point: I got terrifying news from my doctor about physical anomalies. With a heavy family history of cancer, I was spiraling. I went into VR to talk to A because I was panicking. While I was crying, A was ignoring me to talk to others. When I asked him to listen, he said his ADHD "made him" talk to multiple people at once, and then he just walked away mid-conversation.
In a haze of fear and abandonment, I told a mutual friend: "If he can’t control himself enough to listen to a friend in a crisis, he should be on ADHD meds." (I didn’t know at the time he had bad past experiences with meds).
A few days later, A, B, and C cornered me in a world for two hours. A and B yelled at me the entire time. They claimed I "interrogated" B because I asked him a couple of questions for someone else (my friend C was actually with me and asking questions too, but she didn’t get in trouble).
They then told me they "knew" I was faking being a system. They targeted one of my protectors, DJ, who has been with me since I was 10. Because he shares a name and a "music lover" vibe with a FNAF character that was in security breach, they claimed he couldn’t have existed when I was 10. They wouldn’t let me explain that he is an original person my mind created years ago.
My "close" friend C stood there silently for the full two hours while they screamed at me and mocked my system. She unfriended me recently i honestly don’t really care about that she never checked on me.
I know the meds comment was harsh, and I might have accidentally crowded B’s space while asking questions, but AITAH for reacting that way after being abandoned during a health scare?
You all sound exhausting
Info: what age are all of you?
YTA
Might sound harsh but forcing people to listen to your trauma dump isn’t cool.
they also suck for yelling but it sounds like there is more to this that you are sharing or it wasn’t as bad as you are relaying.
A isn’t your friend. I don’t think they need ADHD meds, they just generally aren’t nice to you. Stop looking for emotional support from this person and getting upset when they predictably fail to provide it. Very gentle ESH.
INFO: why didn’t you just log out? It’s a video game, my friend. They have no way of actually holding you there.
ESH, You shouldn’t have really bombared everyone in the VRchat with your health scare, some stuff you need to deal with privately and nasty comments made are just unnecessary. Your friends sound exhausting though and I would run.
I’m clearly too old because I didn’t understand half of this. Ignoring everything else (because it’s all gibberish to me honestly), yes your friend was rude and uncaring to ignore you while you were in crisis. That said, questioning the treatment of their ADHD was also obnoxious. ESH.
I think you should go outside.
I don’t understand any of this. System? Altars? Cornered in VR? Is this a video game thing?
A “system” is when you have “alters” in your head, like imaginary friends kinda
Kids just playing games and needing to touch grass
I read VRChat friend group and stopped there. Nothing else matters, you don’t owe these people anything.
ESH. You didn’t have to listen or be cornered anywhere in VR, thats on you.
I’m trying hard to be nice but I don’t believe any of the “system” stuff. I believe that is a very rare disorder that very few people actually have. That’s the main reason esh
Yes, I know I’m old…but this VRChat stuff from a REAL support and friendship thing is just not healthy. At a time of such (using your words) terrifying, panic-inducing medical scare along with a potentially incredibly rare personality diagnosis, why are you ‘talking’ to people you don’t know irl? Talk to actual friends, your mom/dad/family, people who KNOW you, not alter egos and internet people, and ‘protectors’…whatever the hell that is. See, it’s not real becuase you don’t have those people in real life…you don’t go around calling your mate in school your ‘protector’…it’s alter egos and bs.
Real people face you, look at you and listen, be a shoulder to cry on, come to you when THEY need support, you have fun together, experience life together, react to situations together….this chat stuff is just talk. Literally, just talk. And not ‘real’ talk in that no one ever has to face each other. YOu can make up any lie and bs backstories you want, and you never have to own up to being unkind or insincere, you just unplug and walk away. Yes, they are ‘real people’ but you’re getting a version of their actual reality. I know they can be a lifeline, and a way to pass the time, but everyone has lives OUTSIDE the chat and it’s time you go to your real people for such incredibly massive life problems. .that’s very heavy sh!t and sorry but only a very few people actually care enough to take all that on from you.
Please for the love of anything **touch grass**. Lmao.