I’m not gonna lie but I don’t think I’m an asshole but my dad and sister are saying that I am
For some info my dad’s gf is a Mail order bride and doesn’t speak English very good and she’s also half deaf so can’t hear anything anyway. Talking to her is a nightmare because she doesn’t understand half of what your saying and when she does get it she asks you to repeat yourself ten times
Anyway when I was having a shower a few days ago she came into the bathroom and I shouted at her to get out she just stood there looking at me for five minutes before she did even though I was shouting at her
She told my dad that I was shouting at her so I told him about it and called her a deaf bitch then because who can’t hear a shower fucking running anyway? Plus it’s obvious if a naked kid is in the shower to not stand there and watch him shout at you to get out.
Also she doesn’t wear a deaf aid because “it’s too expensive” but she has a gucci handbag and dad gets her expensive shit all the time so that makes no sense
Anyway am I actually an asshole or am I the only normal person in my family?
I’m 14m btw
Edit because people keep saying it but the bathroom door doesn’t have a lock we all just know to knock and wait to use the bathroom if the door is closed
Edit whoever sent the Reddit suicide bot after me real mature I thought I was meant to be the immature one
“Doesn’t speak English good” is peak irony.
Yea it is. Like those hicks that complain that immigrants stole their jobs, yea Jimbo a phd from another country stole a job you were qualified for.
I don’t care what your culture or language barrier is, if you walk in and see somebody in the shower you obviously turn and leave instantly in embarrassment! NTA, I would’ve likely yelled and lost my shit too.
Don’t get all the AH answers..
A grown adult goes into the shower while a minor of the opposite sex is naked, and staring at the minor
And the minor is the AH??? He literally can report a SA here
From OP’s mouth:
>Maybe not 5 whole minutes but it was a long time. Like long enough for me to grab a towel to cover myself instead of just using my hands
Sounds like dad’s girlfriend was just momentarily stunned and it took her brain a moment to register what she was seeing. Being yelled/screamed at may have made her freeze, as well. Not everyone responds to being yelled/screamed at in the same way. I’d freeze too, especially if my brain was still processing wtf I was seeing.
There’s no way she just stood and watched you for 5 whole minutes.
Is there no shower curtain? Just a glass door?
By 10 seconds in, I’d have jumped out and grabbed my towel. Not stand there for a full 5 minutes yelling, naked.
And I doubt she’s literally a mail order bride, I think you just don’t like her.
If someone walks into a bathroom without knocking, finds you naked in the shower, then stands there staring at you (instead of immediately retreating and profusely apologising) you should be able to shout at them
as much as you want. NTA
YTA
**Edited** because OP has made it known it “may not have been 5 minutes of staring him down”, making my point for me. From OP:
>Maybe not 5 whole minutes but it was a long time. Like long enough for me to grab a towel to cover myself instead of just using my hands
For me, it takes 2-3 seconds max, to grab a towel. 10 seconds, if I’m fumbling around. About the same time it would take someone walking in on me by accident to register/process what they were seeing, apologize, and leave. But if that same person were to walk in on me, not expecting me in there, and I immediately started screaming and yelling at them, I could definitely see how that could further confuse the person/make them freeze for even longer than they would have had I not yelled/screamed.
And keep in mind this woman is partially-deaf. Being a partially-deaf woman myself, sometimes loud noises can cause really strange sensations in my ears, along with a nauseating form of tinnitus.
Not excusing her, she owes OP an apology for walking in on him, but I just don’t get creeper vibes from this post, especially with OP’s update about the supposed timeframe.
**End Edit**
>gf is a Mail order bride and doesn’t speak English very good
“It’s “very well”, not “very good”. The irony.
>she’s also half deaf so can’t hear anything anyway.
Wow, so she’s deaf and speaks a different language; that’s super difficult. If you had any empathy, you’d realize how difficult being half-deaf and living in a location where your native tongue isn’t spoken is.
>her to get out she just stood there looking at me for five minutes before she did even though I was shouting at her
I doubt it was 5 minutes. Perhaps a bit prolonged, but not 5 minutes. I’ve done similar to my own father-in-law, who was visiting us at the time. Hadn’t realized he was just finished showering and I went to clean the guest bathroom. Door was cracked, so I just waltzed in (he had a towel around him, luckily). Stood there for a minute, trying to register what was happening.
***Unlike*** **you**, FIL was just as silent as I was (also probably trying to register what was going on), and when I apologized red-faced, instead of yelling and screaming at me and calling me a “dumb bitch”, he just said “My bad for not closing the door”. And we left it at that. Like **mature** people do.
>to not stand there and watch him shout at you to get out
Again, sometimes the brain doesn’t immediately register what the eyes are seeing. Doesn’t mean she’s a “dumb bitch”, or that she was perving.
>it’s too expensive” but she has a gucci handbag and dad gets her expensive shit all the time so that makes no sense
Your dad’s money, his choice on what to spend it on. And hearing aids (***not*** “deaf aides”; you really are going out of your way to be particularly nasty about your dad’s girlfriend, especially her disability, which she did not choose to be born with/acquire) don’t help all forms of deafness, and can be far more expensive than most mass-produced designer handbags (***not*** referring to limited/one-of-a-kind bags). The price range is between $2,000-$8,000+, for the hearing aids alone. An exam, tests, and other diagnostics required for a hearing aid prescription just add to that cost.
You have a shit-ton of growing up/maturing to do. Work on yourself.
ESH
She does for not stepping out the moment she sees an adolescent showering and for not getting an aid to alleviate the conflicts
You are still TA for using slurs and belittling her for a disability. And your entire attitude and dislike towards her for those things also makes you an AH.
Now disliking her after violating you by watching you shower is 100% valid
Don’t call women bitches and don’t mock deaf people for their disability. Just because you are in the right doesn’t mean you can act this way.
Talk to your dad about his girlfriend and the shower thing. That is not ok and very weird. You need to put down a hard boundary. If she does it again, you will tell a counsellor at school / call CPS.
ETA: ”mail order bride’ is both racist and misogynistic. I think you might need to think about the language you use if you want people to respect your opinion.
NTA for feeling upset that she walked in while you were showering.
However, YTA for how you are talking about her! “Mail order bride” is a racist trope. Plus, they’re not even married!?!? Plus, she’s hearing impaired AND English is not her first language…. learn some empathy.
Your father may be the bigger AH. The way you talk about a deaf woman from another culture is…. Not great. Dont call women ‘b***h’, don’t use people’s disability as a slur and saying her English is bad while your grammar and vocabulary is this awful makes me wonder if there’s a touch of racism in there as well.
I understand kids your age are being pelted with brainrot bigotry but damn.
It also makes you an unreliable narrator. Did she stand and stare at you for five minutes or was she stunned for a sec because she couldn’t hear you in the bathroom and was shocked to find you there and was then called ‘a deaf b——‘?
If it’s the first, ESH – but her ogling a minor (if that is in fact what happened) is much worse. If it’s the latter YTA.
“Who doesn’t hear the shower running?”
Someone who is hearing impaired. And yes she will ask people to repeat themselves when she is both hearing impaired and not a native English speaker.
I seriously doubt she stared at you for a full five minutes. Bullshit. Did you just stand there naked for a full five minutes? Doubt it.
It seems like she legitimately didn’t hear the shower, was stunned to find someone in there and froze for a moment. You clearly don’t like her and have a problem with someone who has a hearing disability.
You’re 14 so you have time to unlearn this. YTA.
>“Who doesn’t hear the shower running?”
>Someone who is hearing impaired.
My thoughts exactly! OP already knows she’s partially deaf yet gets annoyed that she…can’t hear things. That’s literally what being partially deaf means. OP YTA