My girlfriend rang me and asked if she could borrow a dress from me for her brother’s funeral a few weeks back. I lent her my only black dress which I also drove to her home about 45 minutes away. When I got there, her daughter saw the dress and told her mum that she would like to borrow the dress from her one day, she’s a size 18 and the dress is a size 6.
Anyway, fast forward to the past Saturday when my father in law passed away and I asked for the dress back. Because I was unable to drive to their home to pick up the dress, and the mother is having difficulties driving at the moment, I asked if they could please send it to me via post.
I didn’t receive a response but today my daughter offered to pick it up as I need it for the funeral tomorrow and I asked if they could leave it in their post box but they said the post box is too small. Mind you it is a small dress.
Anyway, messages were sent back and forth between the person who borrowed my dress and her daughter who lives with her and I mentioned basically that I was disappointed that neither of them could have posted the dress to me. The post office is 600 metres from their home, or an 8 minute walk.
The daughter said to me that she wasn’t going to walk to the post office in 30 degree heat to which I responded that she has had all week to make the 600 metre trip. Then she proceeded to ask me why I hadn’t arranged a pick up prior to today. I am sorry but I didn’t think I would have to considering her mother borrowed the dress from me and I had delivered it to them some 3/4 weeks ago. So am I the asshole?
Obviously NTA. They’re clearly hoping not to give back the dress.
NTA
Never “lend” them anything again.
Totally agree
I think they damaged the dress; her mother did something to it while trying to wear it, and that’s why they’re not giving it back, or rather, they can’t give it back.
Yep, that thing is ripped from someone squeezing into it. For sure.
NTA, and oh that dress is definitely ripped to shit
Is the dress ok? I’m legitimately concerned
I’m not sure, my daughter ended up having to travel for an hour in an uber to pick it up so will see.
I’ll check again, haha sorry I’m too invested now. I have a bad feeling, but let’s wait and see. Anyways it’s shitty of them treating you that way, not cool!
Definitely NTA. (also, you’re never going to see that dress again).
My daughter went and picked up the dress but she spent money catching an uber to and back home, which isn’t fair. What condition the dress is in I have no idea as yet.
I’m so sorry you are dealing with this rubbish while in the throes of grief, it is appalling and unfair. I pray your dress is in good, freshly dry cleaned condition, and you can put your focus where it belongs, on your bereaved family. It’s an expensive lesson, but well learned I should think. This friend doesn’t respect or care for you and cannot be trusted. Sending hugs from Australia
NTA also never lend anything to them again. They are not friends
You may want to go through your wardrobe and look for something else to wear.
One bit of advice my father gave me – don’t lend what you can’t afford to lose.