I’m a groomsman in my brother’s wedding, and he’s now talking about having all the groomsmen wear matching custom-made suits, not rentals, with each of us expected to pay for our own. I pushed back and said I’m happy to follow a general dress code or coordinate accessories, but I’m not willing to buy a custom suit chosen by the couple for their wedding.
In my view, if the groom and bride want the wedding party to fully match, then they should pay for it. If they don’t want to pay, then the normal alternative is a simple dress code like “dark suit, white shirt,” not forcing people to buy a single-use outfit. That’s exactly how I handled it at my own wedding. We paid for the bridesmaids’ matching dresses, and the groomsmen just wore suits they already owned while I bought bow ties for everyone.
AITA for saying no unless the suits are paid for or rented?
I just got married over Halloween.
We didnt do bridal parties but we each had informal bridal parties if that makes sense (we got married on a cruise) and the rule was no purple as my dress was rapunzel purple and to wear semi formal.
Thats all we asked.
Our photos look super cute and my 2 girls actually both wore blue and it looked so cute!!
So NTA
They want a custom thing suddenly? You either back out or they pay for it
NTA, it is really unreasonable. They want too much.
“In my view, if the groom and bride want the wedding party to fully match, then they should pay for it.”
100%. NTA.
NTA
Women have to pay for their own “bridesmaid” dress for each and every wedding. Almost all would be considered single use. At least your suit can be worn for many different occasions.
It’s a really good investment in yourself, suck it up and buy the suit.
Sorry I should have specified that the suit is bespoke and single use. I have lots of beautiful suits. BTW, I paid for my wife’s bridesmaids’ dresses.
How is a suit single use?
The request suit format so far is baby blue and done in a tuxedo style
INFO where do you live? It’s standard practice in the US for the bridal party to cover their own clothing, and expected in some other countries that a bride and groom requiring attire will pay for it.
>It’s standard practice in the US for the bridal party to cover their own clothing
Does that extend to custom made suits though? It seems excessive.
In California, bridesmaids buy their own dresses, picked out by the bride, often custom made in her colors for the wedding- sometimes as a brides maid you spend over $300 on your outfit. The bride might buy matching jewelry or purses for everyone, but otherwise you buy your own outfits.
NTA. It’s unreasonable to expect people to drop hundreds (or more) on a custom suit they’ll only wear once. A simple dress code or rented suits would be a much more reasonable option. You’re not being cheap, just practical.
A custom suit is MUCH more than a few hundred dollars.
NTA, bit bridesmaids gave been doing it for decades.
Sucks eh?
If the groom wants them to match exactly, rent them. Or you rent yours.
I appreciate that about bridesmaids although for the record I paid for my wife’s bridesmaid dresses as I thought it the classy thing to do. I am totally open to renting; the problem is the request for something customized makes that impossible