My wife gets mad because I open some delivery box (with toys) for our daughter, and let her play before her birthday. (I wasn’t intentional let her play but she saw them and want to play, she was almost 2 btw) I didn’t know those are for her birthday, and those delivery box were sitting by the door a couple days already so I thought I help to open them and clear some space. But she claimed she told me those are for our daughter birthday and she will open them herself, but I wasn’t aware. And then she say that’s because I was always on my phone and not paying attention. And she said I ruined everything! How did I ruined everything? I put back the toys into the box, and not open all of them. I feel it’s a such small issue I don’t get why she get so mad just for this?
I have a 2 year old. She saw a bunch of barbie stuff in our trunk that we didn’t hide well enough. We distracted her and then when we gave them to her for Xmas she didn’t remember seeing them in the car at all.
You could have easily told your kid no after they saw the toys and then taken the toys and hid them.
“I don’t get why she get so mad just for this” is the same equivalent as “the divorce came out of nowhere.”
I 100% believe your wife told you those were birthday gifts, and I 100% believe you didn’t listen to her and aren’t believing her lived experience now.
She “got so mad” because this isn’t about a onetime thing, it’s clearly a pattern.
And instead of taking full accountability, acknowledging the invisible labor it takes for her to plan a good birthday experience and say, “man, that sucks. I’m so sorry. I messed up. How can I fix this and take some stuff off your plate?” You are continuing to make excuses and downplay it.
Just stop. Listen. Help. Be a better and more involved partner.
YTA
YTA. Sounds like she already told you what the issue is. Maybe try to get off your phone? Also, how hard is it to ask “hey these packages have been here for a few days, do you want me to open them and clear some space?” ALSO, your kids birthday is coming up, you found some brand new toys in the mail, and it didn’t occur to you that they were presents? You don’t help pick out your kids presents? Bro…
he probably didnt remember it was his child’s birthday 🤣
> because I open some delivery box (with toys) for our daughter, and let her play before her birthday.
YTA. No further explanation needed.
YTA.
Obviously presents and toys before a birthday are gifts and meant to be a surprise for later. Just because she wants soemthing doesn’t mean you can’t redirect. Be a better parent and father. She might almost be 2 but boundaries begin now.
Jeez, of course YTA, and you know exactly why.
How did you not realize that brand new toys showing up right before your kid’s birthday are probably for her birthday?
How did you ruin things? Your wife told you what was going on, and you were too busy being on your phone to pay attention her when she was telling you what was going on with your daughter’s birthday. The issue isn’t about the toys, it’s about you.
The issue isn’t the event – kid playing with toys – it’s that you didn’t PAY ATTENTION and you didn’t THINK.
If you’d have THOUGHT “oh her birthday is coming up” or “Oh, I should ask my wife what these are for” , things would’ve gone differently.
And now your wife misses out on seeing the excitement on the kids face when they first play with the toys, the toys SHE thought about and ordered because you sure as heck didn’t, becuase you DIDN’T THINK.
Be a grownup. YTA.
YTA weponisied incompetence. You had toys delivered and your wife didn’t given them to your daughter. You (hopefully) knew her birthday was coming up. You didn’t out 2 and 2 together and think maybe they were birthday gifts?
If you daw a cake in the fridge the day before the party would you have cut into it for dessert!
YTA – When you say you don’t understand why your wife is so upset and its not a big deal, you are the one misunderstanding. Your daughter will be two on her birthday. When our children are growing from a baby into a toddler and on from there the changes come quickly. Each phase of their development, each wide-eyed delight at something new, each time they grasp a new concept, these are all things that happen once. As a mother, if I had purchased birthday toys, I would be anticipating seeing those new understandings and joys on my child’s face. You stole that from your wife. If you still don’t get what you did, you are not just TA – You are foolishly out of touch
Weaponized incompetence right there bud, YTA
YTA. You find a box full of brand new toys and don’t stop to think they are possible for your child’s birthday that is coming up? Regardless if she told you,it’s not hard to put two and two together. You 100% ruined it lol imagine someone hands you your birthday gift,takes it away and then hands it back to you on your birthday.
Oh and she definitely told you and probably on more than one occasion, be focused on your surroundings! You have a child that could seriously hurt herself and your main focus is your phone??.
Do better.
She’s mad at you because you’re being a pathetic father who’s uninterested in the basic running of the household and not being an active participant in your family. Your wife thought of the gifts, bought the gifts, and will be wrapping the gifts. If you’re having a birthday party for your daughter, have you participated in any meaningful way in the planning and execution of it? Have you made reservations, sent out RSVPs, thought of a theme, bought food, drinks, decor, trinkets, whatever, for the event?
An active father would see Amazon boxes days before his daughter’s birthday and realize that they were birthday gifts, and take some weight off of his wife’s shoulders and wrap the gifts himself. He would help any way he could to make his daughter’s birthday something special. Hell, that’s the ground floor! A great father would have been participating side by side with his wife all the way from start to finish.
You can either continue on as you are, not actually participating in your family because you’re in your phone distracted, or you can take this as a lesson and re-engage with your wife.