My car broke down and I needed to borrow my moms car to get to work. I am a dog trainer and bring my dog with me. Her nail ripped (a clean and repairable) hole in the leather but I didn’t notice. She text me a picture of it when I returned the car with mad emojis 😠😡
And I immediately offered to fix it. The next day she says she was mad at me bc I didn’t say sorry.
But from my perspective I took accountability immediately so why does she need me to say sorry?
Anyway, AITA?
INFO: why didn’t you say sorry?
You took accountability, that is good.
But damaging someone’s car does also rate an apology. Common courtesy.
YTA
Because offering to pay to fix isn’t really an apology or taking accountability. It also doesn’t consider the time your mom may need to spend without her car and/or in the shop while it is repaired.
An apology means taking accountability for what happened, expressing that remorse without excuses, and commit to changing your behaviour to keep it from happening again. You also need to listen to the other person’s feelings and show empathy. Simply offering to pay is not doing any of that.
I’ll probably be downvoted but YTA, imo.
YTA. At the very least, ‘Oh my gosh, Mom, I am SOOOO SORRY. I’ll get that fixed for you right away’ is the least any decent human would do. Unless you are NOT sorry for it happening in which case, your poor mom. (Also, kiss ever borrowing her car again, good-bye.)
Info: was she aware you were using her car to transport your dog?
Imagine having an ego this big.
YTA.
yta
Weird hill to die on. You were responsible for her car and it was damaged apologize and move on with your life.
Having been offered money for a slight instead of an apology before maybe this can help.
An apology shows you recognize the other person’s feelings of anger, sorrow, etc. You are validating that you see the emotional response you triggered and you are telling them “sorry” because you are remorseful of what happened. Its two people coming to an emotional understanding.
Being offered just money for a slight shows someone does not see your feelings as valid. They’re throwing money at you/the problem to make it/you go away. So not only has a slight been made against someone but the person who caused the slight seems like they dont care about your feelings or thoughts. You’re just a bill they need to strike off a list.
YTA. Apologize. Assuming you actually like your mom, I cant even believe this is an argument.
Accountability is only part of a good apology. The other pieces are important, too. Apology is recognizing that your action upset the other person and telling them that you care about them being upset. You‘re behaving in a purely transactional way, which is fine for things that are one-time business interactions, but not so great for relationships. YTA.
Yta and stop acting so childish. You damaged something that wasn’t yours so you say sorry.
YTA, offering to fix it is not a replacement for an apology. Why are you making such a big deal about saying a word? Just feels childish.
Well your dog can’t speak so you are the service human. You need to speak for your pack member.
YTA. Accountability includes saying sorry.
The cleanliness and repairable status of the hole is irrelevant. You almost sound like you want your mother to be more grateful because it could have been worse.
YTA. Your mom was nice enough to let you borrow her car, are you not sorry that your dog damaged her seat? Offering to pay is a good start, but it’s not an emotion or remorse. Just apologize.