So I (17F) am the only child left home in my family. My oldest brother(23M) moved out to his new apartment and my older brother(20/21M) is in college. I’m the only one still in high school (even though I have no classes on campus because I’m in Early College) and therefore still living with my parents. My older brother is home for the holidays but leaves sometime this week. This has been on my mind ever since Christmas.
I’ve been cleaning the kitchen 7 days a week, 24/7, every week ever since my older brother left for college back in August. I was told that if I didn’t feel like cleaning the kitchen to let my parents know during winter break. I’ve only asked for the kitchen to be cleaned by them twice. Once on Christmas Eve(?) and once when we got my baby godbrother for a week (my dad cleaned it after my mom said she would clean the kitchen in the morning but never did).
My mom makes this seafood boil every year for Christmas and since we had my grandma and great auntie with us for Christmas, I was the one being called by all of them on a daily and I was tired. The kitchen wasn’t cleaned on Christmas Eve by my mom but my dad on Christmas morning of which she started cooking.
Me and my brother left to visit our uncle and auntie and came back at around tenish when I heard my mom complaining that it wasn’t fair she had to cook and clean on Christmas. I know it was a few weeks ago but it just stuck with me and I wanted to know if I’m in the wrong for not wanting to clean the kitchen on Christmas.
Why is nobody else helping out? The person cleaning shouldn’t have to cook and the person cooking shouldn’t have to clean when there are others in house eating
QUESTION: is cleaning the kitchen your only chore around the house? Or do you also vacuum, dust, clean the bathrooms, do laundry, etc?
You clean the kitchen 24/7? That’s nuts. They don’t let you sleep?
Does your brother do anything when he comes home?
The person cooking definitely should not have to clean as well but I think you should’ve asked for everyone to do it together since it’s a holiday. Make it a family thing and it’ll get done faster anyway. It’s Christmas after all
You’ve taken on far too much for someone your age. It’s not about being selfish; it’s about setting boundaries. If you’re exhausted, say so and let them step up. Christmas should be a time for family and relaxation, not just another chore fest for you. It sounds like they need a wake-up call to share the load more evenly.
I’m not going to say you’re an AH , but I had a rule if I cooked for the holidays which takes all day plus prepping wk or 2 ahead, that I did not clean. It would be really loving for you to talk w your brother and agree for now on if mom cooks on a holiday everyone but HER cleans up. Believe it or not most moms would think that’s the best gift they got that day.
What ever happened to “cleaning while you cook”? How about the person who’s cooking cleans while they cook and the left over dishes be a team effort. Make a point to NEVER go to bed with dishes in the sink.
INFO: I don’t understand why your Brother didn’t help clean. You both got home late, right? Was this 10 in the morning or at night? If it was at night, why didn’t anyone else clean up while you guys were gone?
Just because your Brother is at college doesn’t mean he can’t help when he comes home. He’s family. Did he do chores when he did live at home?
Definitely the person who makes a huge meal should not be the person cleaning up.