For context the man has served time for it already and has been out with no further charges. He is an active member in her life in fact she has been completely dependent on him for most of it. He started when she was 13. She struggled with alcoholism and eating disorder and has been delusional and downright aggressive for most of her life. She has been doing really good the last couple years. They like, hang out and he takes her to work and her appointments sometimes. Her husband knows about it and has stated that they are "best friends." The vibe is always weird when they are in a room together and the guy himself just has a really bad vibe about it.
We share custody so I only have the kids on the weekend. I have stated multiple times that I am uncomfortable with her having him over when the kids are there. (Really I’m uncomfortable anyways but I’m literally renting out of her home so it sure as heck isn’t up to me)
She invited him over without saying anything and then got really defensive and upset when I immediately had the kids pack up and left. I took them to a trampoline park and McDonald’s and just tried to kill time. She was incredibly upset stating that she would "defend him with her life."
I told her that I love her and of course want her to have what she needs but it is a definite boundary with the kids and that she needs to let me know in advance if she’s going to have him over. I also said that I thought it couldn’t be anything but damaging to the both of them to continue their relationship like that.
So AITA for not wanting a registered person around my kids? I really feel like it’s sick that he’s still in her life and that she is so dependent on him.
Authors note: I am actively doing my best to get my own place, I just got promoted to supervisor at the facility I work in and I’m writing books and trying to start some artsy LLC to make even more. Frankly I don’t want to be around her either. So AITA?
To be quite frank, while you’re NTA in this specific situation, I believe you would be to bring your kids around the roommate at all. Don’t take them to that house anymore.
Second this!! You’re not the ah pero you have to be proactive with the information provided and make different arrangements for your kid
Nta
Not at all, you are protecting your kids and keeping a healthy relationship with your roommate. Would request try to find a new place and congrats on your promotion!! Well done. Take care and stay safe.
What kind of abuse? If he is on the sex offenders register or on parole, he may not legally be able to be in the home with your kids.
This. He could be violating his parole or probation or what have you. He’s an idiot if he’s on the registry and risking getting put back in. I hear it isn’t easy for them in there.
NTA – As a parent, you are 100% responsible for the safety of your children and must err on the side of keeping them out of danger and be wary of the type of people they are exposed to. Of course you’d want to keep them away from that guy! Frankly, I think you should keep them away from your room mate too!
NTA, your only job is protecting your kids and you don’t owe a predator a “second chance” just because your roommate is still under his thumb.
She doesn’t sound like a good friend.
NTA. It’s absolutely bizarre for her to think that anyone with children would allow them around a registered offender. I would ask her who else in her life does she know who would allow that. Tell her it’s your job to keep your children away and it’s not for her to decide. She’s wreckless thinking it’s fine to have kids around this person.
“registered person”? what does that mean exactly.
Probably on the sex offender registry
that’s definitely the assumption, I just wanted to be right before asking why tf he hasnt turned the dude in for coming to a home where children live part time.
if he’s on the sex registry, OP is hella UNDERacting.
NTA if he’s a sex offender, should he be visiting a home where there are children present?