I(M-35) have made plans to take my Neice (F-5) out for some fun activities, including pottery painting and lunch. I just want it to be a Funcle (Fun Uncle) and Neice day.
My mother is willing to give me money for it but I have to include something for my brother’s (M-32) girlfrends daughter (F-6). I know it would not be reciprocated in future, this thought has been shown in the past to be ture.
I do have the funds to easly plan and do the activates I have planed for my neice so I don’t need the money and my mother was just trying to be nice but was also putting strings on it.
I really want this to just be about me (Funcle) and my niece as she doesn’t really get to have her own fun without someone else having to be included.
So WIBTA refuse the money to have a truly 100% Funcle and Neice day out?
Info: Do the GF and her daughter live with your brother and niece?
NTA. You say it’s an ongoing issue that she can’t have things that are just for her, so no.
Make it about her and don’t accept the money or the strings it comes with
I’m going to say NTA purely because it seems your neice gets left out occasionally, if you don’t think its balanced. She needs to feel special too.
Refuse the money and proceed with your original plans. Unless your mom controls you in some way? Do you live with her? Does she support you at all? NTA
I live with my mother right now until I can afford a house and I am very close to being able to do that.
So don’t. Don’t take her money and stop trying to please your mother. You are allowed to have a relationship with your niece on your and her terms. You can do the same with your brother’s girlfriend’s daughter another time. There is no reason to make apologies or excuses. I hope you and your niece have fun making memories together.
You’re a 35 year old man. You don’t need the approval of countless internet denizens.
Or to have his mother involved with his plans to spend time with his niece. She doesn’t even factor into the equation.
NTA
Your Mom can use her money to take both girls out.
This 100%
No. She isn’t your niece and you do not have to take her to spend time with yours. Your mom can do it if she wants to.
Do the girls like being with each other ? If you can make it enjoyable for the one you want to help then maybe be a bit softer in your approach , if not then hold fast and do as you plan and only take the one girl.
If they are friends though dont drive a wedge between them they are 5 and 6 thats still pretty young they wont fully be able to rationalize fair etc at that age.
Does the family of the girlfriend’s daughter include your niece when they do things with her? Does her father take both girls out? I’m going to go out on a limb here and say that it’s unlikely that they do. Regardless, this is supposed to be a bonding, fun experience for you and your niece, NTA
INFO: what do you mean by not being reciprocated?
How long have your brother and his girlfriend been together? Like is this girl going to be your future niece? Do you see her a lot?