This is such a small silly thing that I feel like I’m being dramatic for being bothered by it.
Situation is, my partner has a medical condition. There is a small amount of data that suggests dark chocolate might help with their symptoms.
I had about half a bar of nice chilli-flavoured dark chocolate which I only allow myself to buy while it’s on offer, because otherwise it’s pretty expensive. It was in the front pocket of a bag we both had clothes in from an overnight trip. I’d found it on offer in a supermarket where we were staying on that trip.
Last night, my partner informed me they’d finished the bar of chocolate, apologised, and said they’d get me a new bar the next morning (this morning) on their walk. This morning, they came back with several bars of dark chocolate, but not the chilli-flavoured one. They said it was too expensive at the shop they went to. I said fine, okay, can I have some of their stack of dark chocolate instead? And they pause for several seconds, then reluctantly say "fine, but only a bit because this is basically medicinal now".
I am annoyed because they ate the rest of my nice chocolate (they know it’s my favourite, they know I only buy it when I can find it on offer, and they know I only had half of one bar left); they said they’d replace it, but then didn’t because the shop was too expensive; and then were stingy about sharing theirs.
I can’t tell if me being annoyed is ridiculous, so I haven’t said anything about it yet. I don’t want to start an argument over something inconsequential. That’s what I’m trying to find out – WIBTA if I said something about this?
They don’t like you because ew.
NTA.
Of course you’re right to be annoyed this person knowingly ate something special to you knowing it was in limited quantity and difficult to replace instead of replacing it due to cost bought a bunch of other chocolate and now doesn’t wanna share. I’m sorry to tell you, but you’re involved with an asshole. A selfish hypocritical, self-centered asshole.
NTA. Your partner is. It is not medicine, but even if it was they acted as a complete AH. I would not like to spend time with someone so selfish.
NTA. They were being selfish and petty, stealing your special treat with a weak, nonemergent excuse and refusing to replace it in full. Even more, they only gave you any kind of attempt at remediation grudgingly, while trying to pressure you out of accepting it. A bad character. This likely isn’t the only sign.
NTA it’s not appropriate that she bought herself chocolate without replacing yours. She should have not bought anything and saved to buy the bar you wanted. I don’t know medicine or her condition but it seems like claiming it’s medicinal is maybe a defensive thing here. Maybe it’s helping or maybe it’s placebo or maybe it’s just yummy but it doesn’t sound like it is science backed or doctor recommended
You should probably get a locked box and put in more of your favorite chocolate (and don’t tell your partner about it).
NTA, no lie, I’d be a bit mad about that forever. Just selfish behavior. It’s small, but it’s not, you know?
‘There is a small amount of data that suggests dark chocolate might help with their symptoms.’
Sounds like this small amount of data is doing a LOT of heavy lifting 🙃
They should replace your nice chocolate. I don’t get how they feel at all justified in not doing that.
It’s not about the chocolate. It’s about taking something nice from you and not caring about it. It’s one of those ‘signs of bigger issues’ things.
I’m guessing the condition is diabetes…but it’s not “eat half a bar of chocolate”
It’s have a square or two as a snack
You are not wrong to be upset by this. Truthfully, they “owe” you the chocolate, regardless of what it costs to replace it. First, because they promised to do so and second, because it wasn’t theirs to take in the first place.
You are NTA. If its too expensive for your partner to replace that item with an exact replacement, its too expensive for them to eat in the first place. When something similar happened when I was younger, replaced my treats with crystallised ginger in different coatings (yoghurt, white choc, milk choc and dark choc). My siblings learnt a spicy lesson.
NTA. If it’s too expensive for them to replace it was too expensive for them to steal from you 🤷♀️
When you use all of someone’s Thing you replace it with the *exact* Thing, not a cheap alternative.
These posts about being upset over seemingly minor things are never really about the minor things. The issue isn’t chocolate. The issue is selfishness.
Does this incident reflect other, less minor areas where your partner is only concerned with their own needs and neglects yours? It usually does. NTA
NTA.
>this is basically medicinal now
Forget the chocolate! I would go out of my mind if I had to stay with a partner this vapid, irrational, and manipulative.