Basically, my family We planned a tea party with our neighbors to thank them for always picking up our packages when we can’t, and just to have a good relationship with them.
However, I absolutely hate social interactions as I have social anxiety. But if that was all, I would be fine with eating with them. But I’m sick and I’m a mess, really. I have a terrible sore throat and I can’t stop coughing. Therefore, I warned my family not to call me for afternoon tea, and to leave me alone in my room knowing that I wouldn’t want to come.
But of course, my mother kept calling for me in front of the neighbors while they were eating, she came to see me and I immediately answered that I didn’t want to. Time passed, then my brother came and told me, rather aggressively, to come downstairs to eat with them, and that my mother was very mad at me. I refused and stayed in my room.
Am I the a**hole? I really don’t feel like having a snack with them knowing that I get uncomfortable easily and feel unwell, coughing constantly (which would be very awkward). I feel like my family made it awkward and disrespectful by calling for me, making it clear it was at home.
I feel like it they never said anything, it would have been just fine and our neighbors would probably not even know I was in my room, since they don’t know us very much. Now, obviously it’s awkward because they know I’m here and don’t want to see them. But going to see them after being forced several times seems more awkward and disrespectful to me than never coming at all.
I’m almost sure my mother will call me again when they’ll be leaving, to make sure I at least say goodbye to them. I want to make it clear that I have nothing against my neighbors, and that under normal circumstances, I wouldn’t necessarily have enjoyed eating with them, but I would have forced myself. But with my current condition (my health), I really don’t feel like seeing them.
At the end of the day, I feel like my mother was wrong for calling me, because I had warned them I wouldn’t come, and she’s the one who made it awkward.
I know this whole situation probably makes me look impolite and disrespectful, which might be the case, explaining why I’m writing in this subreddit.
Am I the one in the wrong?
NTA for not wanting to spread your germs. Your mother’s insistence is odd, to say the least. Don’t worry about what your neighbors think of it all, but do be very clear with your mother that YOU will not be forced into social niceties when you are not well, period.
Thanks !! 😭 I’m glad someone understands me ! I guess my mother wants to seem polite and all, but I just won’t do it.
NTA. Geez, you’re doing everyone a favor by sitting this out whilst sick. Send a thank you note. Your family sounds nuts.
Tl:Dr wall of text my man! Please try a paragraph and a blank line here and there. Good luck otherwise.
Yeah I just stopped reading.
NTA. It’s rude to share a meal with people when you’re sick and possibly contagious. If your mother felt it was important for you to be there, she should have rescheduled.
The courteous thing for you to do would be to come out of your room when they’re leaving, stand at a safe distance from them, and apologize that you couldn’t spend time with them because you’re sick and didn’t want to risk transmitting whatever you have.
NTA. There is more here, but the coughing is a deal-breaker imo.
Personally, I would have gone down, stood at the doorway, and greeted everyone gracefully. Let them know that I was not feeling well, and I didn’t want to get anyone sick. I hope you have a great time this evening, and maybe we can do this again when I’m feeling better. Thank you for understanding. I’m going to head back to bed now. Good night, everyone.
OP is sick with a cough, why would you expect them to go down and start coughing in front of them for social niceties
If you are sick, sore throat and coughing, you SHOULD stay in your room. Your neighbors do NOT want you making them sick. Tell that to your family and continue to isolate yourself.
If you were not sick a polite
Greeting and goodbye would be appropriate.
This is weird, why cant your family just say you’re a little unwell so wont be joining them? Very odd and no youre not TAH!