Okay so me (24F) and my friend (22F) just went to bali for 6 days.
Long story short she basically wanted to stay in the villa most of the time.
We landed late sunday night and were both wrecked so we slept.
On monday we got breakfast and our nails done and dinner. I suggested we should go out to a bar after. i could tell she was kind of bored and was on her phone LOTS but i tried to make the night fun by dancing etc. this same night, i was on Hinge and a guy said to come to this other bar. the vibes weren’t great where we were so I asked her if she wanted to go to this other bar and she said yes. we end up going. unfortunately this guy is by himself but had a friend flying in that night. he sat in the middle of us trying to include her but it naturally turned into a third wheel situation. after about 30 minutes she starts yawning saying she’s tired, and saying she wants to go home. fair enough i get it you don’t want to third wheel so i got us a car back to the villa.
The next day she wanted to stay in the villa ALL DAY. apart from going to the markets for like an hour and getting food. we spent most of the time by the pool. we go out for dinner and i suggest that we go out and she says she’s “absolutely not going out “. i didn’t want to go out alone in a foreign country so i stayed the night in the villa.
Next day is NYEs and we had a ticket to finns beach club. we spent all day in the villa which i was fine with because i knew we’d have a big night. at finns there’s heaps of people. i like socialising and talking to strangers but she kind of just wanted to dance us two. she then drops on me that she’s being loyal to a guy she met at a festival about three weeks ago – she didn’t tell me this until that night.
anyways we’re at finns and i end up mingling with a group of guys. they also had a booth which they let us sit at. i could sense she was pissed because she was on her phone and wasn’t dancing or socialising. the guys invite us back to their villa and she declines so we end up walking her back to our villa and and i ended up staying the night at theirs.
The next day – villa and dinner.
The day after – she gets a tattoo, we get a massage and we fly home.
before bali we also discussed going to new zealand in april. however this was an incredibly frustrating trip for me and it was apparent that we didn’t communicate properly. i gave myself time to calm down and sent her a message telling her that i needed to be honest and after reflecting on bali i think we have different travel styles and it would be a better idea for her to go to new zealand on her own so we both don’t feel like we’re compromising (she was originally going solo and invited me). now she hasn’t spoken to me in over a week.
AITA for not wanting to go to new zealand with her and was I a bad friend on this trip?
This whole post is how people go missing in a foreign country. Sorry, but it needs to be said.
You communicated with a random dude on an app known for hook-ups and went to meet up with him. It sounds like your friend reluctantly agreed. Then at then other party thing you met a group of guys and went back to their villa and…stayed the night? This all sounds so dangerous and stupid and you’re lucky nothing bad happened to you.
NTA for not wanting to go to New Zeland with your friend because you both would have a miserable time, and at least you were honest about it. But damn, realize that what you’re doing in foreign countries is really, really dangerous. You don’t know what people’s intentions are. I’m assuming you’re doing this to get laid, but you don’t want to become the next missing woman or assaulted woman on TV.
I was gasping and clutching my pearls while reading this!! She broke every golden rule for traveling as a woman. Even showed them where they were staying by walking her friend back!!
Damn, male privilege but I hadn’t even considered that the worst case scenario was “here is the villa where this tired woman is staying all alone”.