A close guy friend and I have been having some tension filled moments lately. He was unusually very handsy with me on a recent night out (hand on lower back pulling me close, brief hand on leg, etc). This is out of character for him – he’s very respectful of boundaries. He was pretty drunk but we still shared some moments after he sobered up. I reciprocated everything he did. We’re in a tight knit friend group and everyone’s been asking me questions after watching the two of us.
The next day he completely ignored me and hasn’t addressed it.
I’m hurt and confused. Is this avoidant/embarrassed behavior, or am I reading too much into it? I know asking him is the obvious answer but I don’t want to ruin the friendship or change the friend group dynamic.
maybe he was drunk on the night out? something else?
ask him, directly
How did you react?
I was very into it and reciprocated. That’s what’s left me feeling confused.
Reciprocated how though? I find sometimes people think they send clear signals when in fact they did not
Dude scared the police are gonna knock on his door.
Need more info
He’s probably worried. Talk to him
Not much context to go off here, but I’m going to guess he was drinking.
As for the motives no one can guess because you didn’t provide any information. How did you respond to his advances? Did you reject them, ignore them or reciprocate.
He could be internally conflicted.
Apologies for being so blunt, but he may have jerked off when he got home and had severe post nut clarity.
Post nut clarity is insane and not to be ignored.
He is embarrassed about getting handsy with you while drunk, and doesn’t know how to deal with it, so is avoiding you and the issue. Do you want more than friendship? If yes (which is sounds like), then tell him you liked how he was that night and are hoping for more. If not, but want to preserve the friendship, then you could just ignore it as well for a little while, or just talk to him and let him know you aren’t mad (if that is true).
Tell him you think you liked it and want to try a repeat sober just to be sure.
++man
Kind of immature reaction on his part but I think he was kicking himself for acting that way and maybe didn’t realize you were reciprocating.
As others said, talk to him now that you are both sober and mention you were into it.
Maybe he’s unsure if you were just going along with it because it was more comfortable than not, or if you really were into it. Rubbish as it is, there are women out there who will reciprocate to a degree because they don’t feel comfortable saying no.
So maybe he’s backing off a bit to see if you’ll start initiating when he doesn’t. This is advice I’ve been given for someone you’re unsure about in general, by the way.
So perhaps you try initiating something and see how it goes?