I share a bedroom with my 10 year old little sister. A very cramped room very clearly made for one person, but we are a low income family so we can’t afford to move to a 3 bedroom apartment right now. I just turned 18 this past November and started community college, and am looking for work, but haven’t had any luck yet.
My father, sister and I have our own Xboxes. Ones we all use regularly, on separate TVs. Me and my father have our own TV’s, (My father actually has 2 TVs in his bedroom, one for his girlfriend and himself.) while my sister’s Xbox is in the living room. This means that she isn’t always allowed to play her games or watch shows on the TV with it if guests are over, which is basically all the damn time, or if my parents just decide they want to use the living room and don’t want her there I suppose. This wasn’t a problem until recently because they’re using the living room more and more, and CJ was being barred from her Xbox more frequently, and having her Xbox used by guests and my parents to watch TV in the living room. I can’t imagine how she felt having to watch others use her stuff and not be allowed to use it herself any time she wanted.
She asked when they would be finished using her Xbox because she wanted to play Roblox, and I guess her interrupting them to ask was the straw that broke the camel’s back. I think it was about an hour or so later, my sister says that she’s allowed to use my TV now. And I (dramatically, I’ll admit) said "that’s not fair!", thinking she meant I’d have to share my Xbox now. Then, in came my dad, who said "that’s not only yours, I hope you didn’t think that" or something very similar. I have owned this TV and Xbox solely since I was 8 years old. I don’t understand why I can own something to myself for the past 10 years but suddenly when it’s convenient for him, I don’t.
I decided to try and calm down and communicate how I felt without letting my feelings get ahold of me, but I can get emotional fast. I told him, "I thought it was my TV because I basically owned it my entire life. If it’s not, then whatever, but it really doesn’t feel good to suddenly have something I thought was mine given away to someone else, even if I’m not always using it. It feels like my agency over my own things is being taken away from me." He seemed annoyed with me, but said that he would get her a display for her Xbox. I doubt he will anytime soon, because most "quick fixes" he has for these kinds of things never get accomplished until I complain. So now, her Xbox is unceremoniously dropped on top of mine, and I’ll have to unplug her Xbox from MY power supply and HDMI and back whenever I want to use my Xbox and TV.
I feel like neither me or my sisters feelings are being taken into account. The living room TV once belonged to her only before being turned communal. Please change my perspective if I’m being selfish.. I don’t want to be a POS kid but I feel kinda hurt.
ESH, I think the only way this gets solved is you get a job and your own place.
NTA. It’s about respect for personal space and belongings. Seems your dad needs to understand that even within shared spaces, people still have their individual items.
ESH. The living room TV didn’t belong to her. She had exclusive use of it when no one else was using it. I expect that’s the same for your TV. You didn’t buy it when you were 8 years old. You had sole use of a family TV until it needed to be shared, like the living room TV.
Swapping a couple of cables doesn’t take long, and if you prefer you can set it up to use HER power supply if you want to.
Why cant she sit in your parents room and play while they are in the living room
Jesus.. If you are 18 and this is your biggest problem you sure are privileged…
Listen..
Get off your but, and actually, and I mean actually start applying for jobs.. Now.. start saving your money and move out.. She is the child you are not anymore, act like it..
At least four tvs and three X Boxes? Sounds like your family has their priorities in order.
I thought the same… This is a low income family?!
This sounds like an unhealthy dynamic overall.
First of all, access to video games are a want, not a need. There are no rights violations when it comes to how often you get to play a video game or use a tv.
That said, it sounds like there is very little family communication going on in this home with the family members operating as housemates rather than a parent and children. This could be just because of OP being a teen and it being where their mindset is.
Regarding the power supplies, could you not just get an extension lead with multiple outlets? I’m assuming OP is posting from the US where electrical standards differ from European standards so check the voltage and safety requirements first but that feels like it would solve the inconvenience of plugging the devices in and out.
The biggest issue here to me seems to be the lack of connection between the family members. Yes, the dad pulling the, “My house, my stuff” card about the ownership of the TV was an asshole move but it sounds reactionary to whining from OP which never brings about a positive reaction.
We have very little concrete info about how often people are over but from OP’s post it seems communication is severely lacking in the family and they could benefit from turning off the devices and actually sitting down as a family a bit more.
I think I pity the 10 year old most of all. It doesn’t sound like they are wanted anywhere.
I’m kind of torn between ESH and NAH.
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It’s a 2 bed he shares with his sister from the sounds of it, which is concerning on its own. They can’t afford a third bedroom place.
She said they can’t afford a 3 bed. So they’re in a 2 bed.
Living rooms are by their very nature a communal area. It’s insane to me that you each have a separate console especially given that they’re all X boxes. My family are big gamers, but we share our consoles in the communal area and ten year olds shouldn’t be gaming all day anyway. ESH because obviously your parents have created this problem in the first place, but grow up, you’re 18, switching a few wires around really isn’t a big deal and you should be spending the bulk of your time studying for college or seeking work, not gaming.
Yup. You’re right. None of the kids feelings matter in this situation, and yes, you’ll have to plug in each system when you want to use it.
None of the adults feelings matter either. It’s a story of too many games, not enough screens, too many people, not enough rooms, and not enough people with jobs.
Or you can buy another screen, when you start earning money.
Yes YWBTAH if you told your dad you don’t want to share screens. Also I can guarantee he doesn’t care