So my brother and I although have working jobs still do live with our parents. It’s just how it is. I’m currently doing university (both in person and online classes) so I’m not always there but I am there sometimes because my job is online as well as still getting other education, it’s similar for him as well. We are definitely very fortunate and privileged and i am aware this is a first world problem but i do tend to take big things and make them trivial so who knows. My brother and I both love coffee and bond over it quite often. I had bought a bag of not even "very premium expensive coffee" whatever that is, just a large bag of coffee and I had put it in the cupboard and you know I noticed a few days ago it was almost empty and he was drinking a lot. I of course wanting to save some for myself just took it back and put it in my room. He was upset over this and I told him it was mine and he could always buy his own. He stated I was being selish and greedy. Later on, he comes out and takes the air fryer into his room, telling me that he bought it with his own money. Now it is a double basket air fryer that he did buy for the both of us, and to be fair an air fryer doesn’t run out of beans but i get it he was upset and i already went ahead and ordered a toaster oven type for myself i prefer those anyway and it is his money and i do respect that so i wasn’t gonna argue over that and i just decided to get a new one with my own money. It just seemed really rude and done to spite me but then i don’t know maybe I’m in the wrong and a terrible brother for not telling him, maybe he’s just being petty or maybe ESH? Maybe we’re just both really spoiled, or AITA?
This is what happens when you pull this is mine you can’t use it, you don’t get to use their stuff either
A simple solutions would be when the beans run out he buys the next bag of fancy coffee
Wanna bet he won’t and that is where the problem is
You should tell on him to your mom.
ESH-next time have a conversation with your brother, might help with just taking something and putting it in your room like a child.
crazy that I’m somehow the first person to say NTA.
He took things that were non reproduceable, and when you acknowledge that he’s literally stealing money from your pockets, he throws a tantrum and takes cost free communal property.
If you didnt wash the air fryer? or if you were also eating his chicken in it? maybe. But so far, it seems like he’s mostly mad that you were right, and he couldn’t handle it. I’m willing to bet your willingness to just roll with it and buy your own toaster will only further fuel his spite. Hopefully he picks himself up from the low road and sees reason.
Closest thing you’d be on the scale for is not just talking to him about it before removing it. But that’s like. 0.5/5
NTA. Selfish, greedy people always call others selfish and greedy for not letting them bogart everything they own.
ESH you are both behaving like children
ESH – you are both being petty and for no reason… why couldn’t you have just asked your brother to help buy more coffee?
NTA
Expecting to drink coffee that you paid for isn’t a radical or selfish concept.
Have you ever talked to your brother before this incident about sharing groceries before ? Try to talk about how stuff gets split and paid for to avoid future issues. Or just keep all your stuff in your room .
NTA. It is one thing to use up something until it’s all gone, then NOT replace it. It’s also rude because if it’s not communal property, he shouldn’t be using it. I’d put it in my room, too!
ESH
Both of you remind me of my sister and I. When we were 8 and 10.
Call a parlay meeting. Discuss how the coffee is a disappearing asset while the air fryer is not.
If he likes those beans, he can buy the next bag. Or if you feel he used more than half, ask for reimbursement of some of what he drank.
Then you 2 decide what is fair going forward. Either share coffee beans or not. If one of you drinks an appreciable amount more or a more expensive type, then it would make sense NOT to share.
I have had roommates where sometimes we shared common food items and other times we didn’t. Always we had enough respect to stay out of the others items. Unless an emergency, and then we replaced it within a day or 2.
You should be able to find agreement. I know it can be harder with siblings as we often revert to childhood strategies, but make an effort to treat each other like adult roomies. Good practice for later.
Nta
NTA.
sorry, but you can’t use up all of an air fryer that someone else paid for.
you bought coffee. he depleted the supply and got snotty when you tried to save some for yourself.
keep the coffee in your room from now on until he figures out how he went wrong. don’t buy anymore public domain coffee.