For context, mum left a toxic 14 year relationship. Me, my partner and sister were in a 4 bedroom rental so we had the space for her and we took her in. Mums old house was a drinking house, so when she moved in with us we only had 2 rules for her. No partys here and no bringing her ex around.
In the beginning everything was fine, mum was helping out cooking, cleaning, paying her $100 a week for board and doing well. Couple months in she starts acting up, her room smells, she stops cooking, stops buying food, starts going to families houses complaining that she’s bored here, that she always has to look after the dogs and she can’t go anywhere or do anything because of it. (She doesn’t even have a car or a job)
Mums ex gets engaged to another women but they’re still in contact calling eachother babe, video calling, meeting up, hooking up. One day while we’re all at work (the three of us worked afternoon shifts) my brother drives past my house and sees mums ex reversed parked in the driveway with the gate closed like it had been a habit and a normal thing since she’s been with us. I message her and tell her to get him out of there. Mind you atp I’m between 3 and 7 months pregnant so she’s added on to the mental stress. We get home after work and she’s gone, we don’t hear from her for 2 weeks and while she’s gone doesn’t pay her board or contact us.
Eventually our lease ends and mum gets her a 1 bedroom and goes her separate way. While in her own space she’s still seeing her engaged ex while he’s planning a wedding. A year and a bit down the track he plans to leave his fiance so they can rekindle, tells her to move out of her place and back in with him. She still has 3 months left on her lease and we tell her to keep it just in case something goes wrong, she doesn’t listen, rushes into it and moves back in with him.
About a month later mum finds out he’s still with his fiancé and that he never stopped seeing her so she starts smashing up his things and my brother takes her in (he has 5 kids combined btw, 4 who go back and forth to the other parent, and 1 that stays with them full time). His house is a 3 bedroom and mum has 1 of them. They said it all started off the same, mum was good in the beginning then became horrible.
Now, me, my sister and ex now partner own a 4 bedroom house with my 2 year old. Ex has moved out so it’s just me, my sister, baby and the dogs living here. We now have an extra bedroom and my brother is begging us to take mum in. I keep telling them I can’t do it again because it took a mental toll on me when we had her the first time especially being pregnant, also me and my ex are going through a really tough time and having her here would only make it much worse. As much as we need the money to help out with bills I would rather struggle than take care of her again.
I’m also the youngest out of our siblings so I feel like she shouldn’t be my responsibility.
So AITAH for not wanting my mum to live with us again? Thoughts?