I (26f) recently moved in with my boyfriend of a year (37m). I redecorated the apartment when I moved in because it was very minimalist and a lot of spaces were not being used functionally, leading to tons of clutter. My bf works remote and his office has been in the living room since we started going out, despite the apartment being a 2 bedroom. This is because the bedrooms do not get great natural lighting despite having windows. For this reason, I never suggested making the spare room into an office during the redecorating phase. Recently, though, when I get home and he is still working there are many stipulations to not disrupt him during his work. Being that this is now our shared space and he does not want a TV in our bedroom, If I want to sit down and unwind after work I have to do it in silence. Also he takes work calls on webcam and I have to make an effort to stay out of the camera. It’s not a huge deal, but would I be the AH if I bring up moving his office?
NTA. Though the obvious move here would to be make the 2nd bedroom your personal space, put a TV in there, a cozy loveseat, decorate how you want, and make it your own oasis away from him. If he doesn’t want it, you take it!
That isn’t a bad compromise. He is spending way more time in the soace and I need natural light at atmosphere for sanity. He should have a background filter on, and he can use airpods. Between those two things, I can have high level meetings anywhere. Even in a busy airport. If he cant have a background, have a wall behind him.
I would make the second bedroom a den. He can have the light he needs and you can have a space to unwind while he wraps up his work.
NTA. Every single at home job I’ve ever had insisted on a room with a door if I was living with someone. Those jobs dealt with people’s health records, so privacy was paramount. Obviously, I don’t know the type of job your boyfriend has, but in order for the two of you to live harmoniously, he needs to turn a bedroom into an office. I get that there’s not a lot of natural light, but there are things to combat that. Don’t feel bad about communicating a change needed in your shared space. It’s no longer just him living there. He needs to adapt.
ETA: added words for clarity
Why not make the spare room your chill room? You can put a TV in there and couch.
NAH. Your boyfriend is valid for not wanting to work in a room without any natural light. You are valid for saying “hey look buddy, you live with another human, and if you need to use a common area, part of that is that other humans may be using it and may make some noise.”
Just put a TV in the spare room that’s not being used for an office, and wind down there after work.
I’m onboard with the 2nd bedroom as the tv room.
Info- what is the second bedroom being used for currently?
Make your spare room a den with a tv. You can have a couch that pulls out into a bed if a bed is already in the room. This seems like a good compromise for both of you. NTA
NTA
But why don’t you make the spare room into your den. He probably needs the better light for working and you would only be in the spare room for a few hours max. You can make yourself a cut little nook
Put your unwind TV and things into the spare room.
NAH I get him wanting to be in the nicer space when he’s home alone all day. But you also should be able to use the shared space when home. Does he work on a laptop? Could he move into the other room once you’re home?
Otherwise I agree with the others, make that the tv room and then you have a space to relax while he finishes work.
NAH Talk to BF and make a plan. 2nd bedroom could be either his office or your TV room.
Fix up one of the bedrooms for your space when he’s busy. Put the TV in and basically make it a girl cave and enjoy. Since he’s claim that is his face and it’s an office and you can’t really wind down and you shouldn’t have to stay quiet and place you live in or be not be able to enjoy the living room then I don’t see any other answer other than you having your own apartment.