I work overnight, usually about 5-7pm to about 4-5am
Needless to say, I sleep all day.
The other morning around noon one of my roommates knocked on my door and excitedly said he got groceries for the whole house and it was a lot so could I help.
I said no. he said please. I said f off. he said are you serious? I threw a shirt or something at the door and shouted to go away.
Harsh, right? But here’s the thing.. I wasn’t in control of myself, istg. I didn’t even remember that happened until he brought it up later and I was legit like 😲 oh yeah.. sorry. because that really isnt me *at all*. I don’t raise my voice and im typically pretty accommodating, which is again, why I think my roommate was so offended and surprised. it was 100% some type of angry auto-pilot coma patient response.
I didn’t think too much of it after apologizing but he keeps bringing it up. And bringing it up around others too. First with our 3rd roommate when he was showing off all the groceries he brought and stressing how he had to take them all upstairs himself since she was *working* while I was ***sleeping*** in the afternoon.
Then during gatherings with all our friends, and im sick of it. I said “what if I banged on your door at 3am and asked you to get up, get dressed, and come help?” but he says he’d do it if I had just bought stuff for the whole house, and that he never would have been so hostile about it. idk.
I think I reacted so hostilely because it’s already difficult to sleep during daytime but I really don’t know. I don’t think I could have been any other way. I don’t think I could have even gotten up for that if I tried, but I’m starting to feel really bad about it. AITA?
NTA. Your roommate is inconsiderate. Pound on his door at 5am and ask for help with something.
NTA but you should sit down and talk with him or you’ll never hear the end of it
NTA.
It would’ve been nice if you refused politely, but since you weren’t “yourself” then I wouldn’t really blame myself. You’ve already apologized, worrying about it would just mentally exhaust you.
You’ve apologised, and you can’t remember the interaction, which means you must have been in a pretty deep sleep. Your roommate is being a bit of a pain telling everyone like he is. I’d pull him aside and just say, “Look, I’m sorry I reacted the way I did.” I was totally smashed from work, and I really didn’t know what was happening. It’s not cool telling everyone I didn’t help when I didn’t even know what was going on.
NTA, I have a simple rule. If i am asleep and you wake me up without a reason that sleepy me deems to be a legit reason, well then you have just summoned my inner asshole and must now deal with the fallout.
NTA, especially when someone has to be so performative about “doing a good thing”. Boastfulness is super unbecoming & its not a gift if they demand thanks for it. The attentuin they’re seeking from others is gross, too. The only reason you should have to wake from your sleep is if there was an emergency.
Nta, but you will be if you dont talk this through.
Re interate that you do not remember reacting like or the knock at all.
You get home extremely tired and that you understand hwo the schedule is confusing to 9-5 people and share what times you are available to help w the flat in other ways.
Keep it factual, apologize for the aggression not for staying in bed. Ask for boundaries ans offer to compensate some other way.
If they don’t get it then fine. Start doing day stuff late late at night, music, kitchen boose, knocking on doors for help.
Always diplomacy first pettiness next.
NTA
I would honestly try testing that theory at 3 in the morning!
some people who dont work nights are so fucking egocentric it pains me! they think theres only one way to live correctly
NTA because it was in the middle of your regular sleeping schedule. I believe you only wake people in the middle of their sleep if there’s an emergency (I don’t look at “sleeping in” the same way. I also can’t be accountable for my middle of night reactions and my husband will tell me of harsh interactions with my sleeping self if he tried to stop me from snoring.
NTA.
I worked nights for 10 yrs and the amount of people that don’t respect that sleep schedule is astounding (and astronomical). Like don’t wake me up unless it’s an emergency fr. It’s not rude of you to want rest.
Why would he even need help carrying groceries for 3 people? That’s insane. I shop for 3 all the time and have never asked for assistance carrying them in. NTA.
Well he just green lit you to wake his ass up over something stupid that a child could knock out in 20 minutes at 3 am. Personally I would test his resolve over it.
Hmm… Definitely NTA but I’d play them at their game
On your way home from work pick up a few cases of water, or something heavy and cheap and wake him up at 4am asking for help… ,,🤷